


The Lightness Of The Darkness

by April__flower



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Arranged Marriage, Elves, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Minor Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Minor Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Royalty, a bit of a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27274420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/April__flower/pseuds/April__flower
Summary: Jongdae was born fated to be the cause of the end of his era. Marrying someone to prove himself worthy as a King was his goal. Unfortunately, things got a little off track when he awoke an old god by mistake.And let’s say, Minseok didn’t love it either.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66
Collections: EXO MONSTERFEST 2020





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: T66
> 
> Hi!  
> I proudly deliver you this story that took over my life for a couple of months and that definitely drove me mad at the end. But, I still feel the need to apologize to the prompter, the God of the story came out more bratty than murderous and for that sorry. I can only hope that somehow I still did justice to your prompt because I truly fell in love with it!  
> Thank you all for reading it and hope you like it!

The whispers and murmurs could be heard all around the elven kingdoms when the elf prince of the Leidian crown was born. Words of appreciation about his pale blond hair and golden skin circulated in every corner of their land:

_ The most beautiful  _ _ Leidian's prince from the new dynasty _ , the citizens called him, unaware of the concerned  hushed tones being traded between the royal couple as they watched their newborn son and heir. 

_ “A warning from the gods! A  _ _ premonition…” the queen warned her husband while he refused to hear her poisonous words. _

_ “Enough, Daeun. That is our child!” he condemned her, turning his back on her. _

_ “It’s a monster, Yedam!” she screamed, “I saw his eyes… golden like the morning sun and capable of reflecting the light with pupils… they are as sharp as a cat’s _ _ — _ _ ” the king could see her shiver on the marble floor, long blond hairs covering her expression from his eyes, “  _ _ — _ _ Like the old elves and their gods…” _

_ “He is a child  _ _ — _ _ our child, and the old elven blood is our blood! Genetics doesn’t make him a monster!” _

_ “He will be. The priestess told me how darkness will always be around him — pulling him, tempting him to finish us all in a constant battle between shadow and light until the day he dives too deep into one…” the queen raised to her feet, eyes darting with venom to the crib,” She said that _ _ —  _ _ that thing will bring back the winter.” _

A foresight the King didn’t want to hear or believe, as his kingdom sang and danced over a blessed heir. He hoped and prayed to the Gods to call his Queen back to reason, as he closed himself in the temples in search for an answer while his soldiers stood by his son, protecting him from his own mother.

But darkness and lightness had a funny way to show themselves. While the King prayed for a miracle that would never come, a Queen’s handmaid took the baby from his crib and placed him in his mother’s arms, oblivious to her madam’s twisted intentions with the newborn child.

On the night of the autumn equinox, the Queen rocked her son in her arms as they laid under a cherry tree. It wasn’t supposed to be like that, she was supposed to love him, to be in a bliss over picking his name and teaching him the ways of elves — their traditions, houses and the weight of his duty, but instead, all she could wish was to take him with her to somewhere where he couldn’t ever become a monster, somewhere where darkness couldn’t strip him from the light. On that strange night, the Gods, old and new, stood as the only witnesses of an eternal sin.

No one knew what happened that night, but as the morning sun marked the beginning of a new season, it also marked the beginning of the downfall of the new golden era.

With a frozen Queen and a _ black-haired  _ prince.


	2. Duty

“Your Highness, please, come out of the room,” the maid asked, “His Majesty, the King, awaits for you.”

“Tell him I’m resting,” Jongdae requested, face buried in his pillow, before raising it to change his story. “No! Tell him I died... Yes, let’s go with the dead prince story!”

“Come on, you whiny baby,” a new voice called out bagging on his door,” Open the door!”

“No! I refuse!”

“Jongdae, you are the fricking heir!” His half brother reminded him through the door, “So you have to get a fiancé, now open the door before I fucking kick it down!”

“Language, prince Yixing,” the maid warned, making the young prince roll his eyes.

“Go away! We both know they will refuse our proposal and I don’t feel like getting rejected today.” 

Jongdae waited for a moment but nothing came from the other side of the door. His brother probably knew he was right. They all did. 

No one in the elven kingdoms were crazy enough to agree to marry their offspring — the whole hope of their House’s future — to a so-called ‘cursed’ prince. Most of them only agreed to meet them for a possible match under the idea that they would be discussing a marriage for the youngest prince, and no matter what Jongdae tried to do or how many talents he showed, they still didn’t want to marry him.

Lord Junmyeon wasn’t different. Even behind all his politeness, shared hobbies and long-lasting friendship, he could still see the fear in his eyes every time Jongdae stepped a bit too close, so it didn’t come as a surprise when he saw the Lords of Umi arriving that morning. 

“Dae…” Yixing called, “please, Hyo is going to tell dad that you are sick, just let me in please.”

The oldest stood from his bed, unlocking the door to allow his brother in, “What do you want?”

“To see you smile?”

“Pass, you can go now,” he told him and turned to fall — once again — belly down onto his bed.

“Come on, you didn’t even like him that much! You called him old school and complained about his dad’s jokes!”

“It's a matter of principle, Yixing, he is still dumping me!” 

Yixing sat next to his brother, gentle fingers caressing his long black hair. “You will find someone, brother, someone that won't coward over mindless whispers.”

 _When?_ Jongdae wondered. Were there more elven nobles he could possibly meet?

It had been five years since Jongdae became of age and — against the promises preached in his coming of age’s ceremony — the world didn’t open itself to him. No adventure, love or any change at all, instead he was still stuck between the same walls playing a part he couldn't fulfil correctly.

“Am I that unlovable brother? Are they right when they call me a cursed being?” Jongdae turned to look his brother in the eyes. Sweet — _round —_ hazel eyes that he envied for how smaller his irises were.

His brother was beautiful beyond words, from his honey-blond hair to the eternal serenity of his features, Yixing was the image of the perfect elf.

In another world, Jongdae may have hated him for that. But how could he hate the little being that had followed him around the castle’s shadows for years, denying and belittling himself in the court’s eyes just to stop them from forcing him into Jongdae’s place…. 

“You are different, “ Yixing agreed, fingers tenderly lifting Jongdae’s chin to allow the light to reflect in his golden eyes, “but your eyes shine like liquid gold, someone is bound to see your worth.”

“What if they don’t?”

“You are the Gods’ favourite child, named by them as our daybreak. I’m sure they will bless you once more.”

Irony came to prove itself a worthy opponent.

That night, while Jongdae closed himself in his room crying over another broken match, their father took a stand no one had expected by giving Yixing’s hand in marriage to the future Lord of Umi, Junmyeon. 

Jongdae couldn’t find in himself to be angry at their father — he was a king before a parent and the kingdom needed heirs and alliances, there wasn’t a reason to oppose when Jongdae was the one lacking. However, it broke his heart to see his sweet lotus fall in a pit of emptiness and misery.

‘Duty comes first,’ Jongdae had whispered as he held his sobbing brother that night. Gentle words hiding his own broken heart. It was his duty to fulfil, and had he done better, Yixing would’ve never needed to marry another over duty. One of them would have been able to let go and fall in love with whoever they chose.

As the older, Jongdae failed to protect his brother’s right to love.

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

Never once had the Jade ball hall looked as glorious as it was on that warm summer night. 

The silver tapestries kissing the jade walls as their crystal chandeliers showed those below them the overwhelming grace and strength of the lotus. Like them, their house stood out proud and resilient when faced with anything. The bodies swinging around the polished jade floors were the testimony of that, after so many generations, different colours still presented themselves at their King's calling. Colours that told Jongdae exactly who they were and which ones to warn Yixing about.

The red of the Park was always a safe haven in a sea of gossiping vipers; Orange of the not that friendly Oh, but rumour was their youngest escaped the norm; But mostly, the room is filled by Kim’s ocean blue. The Kims were the oldest family between them, descendants of the old elves and their gods, a noble house that had to work its way into the new social hierarchy after being cast aside for their roots and judged for their old ways. All the reasons that led Jongdae to be surprised by their wish to unite their families through Yixing — the cursed ones and the old ones, in a way it was too perfect a set up for court’s gossip. 

But tonight wasn’t the night for pettiness and bitterness. It was Yixing’s night, even if his engagement announcement wasn’t with the one he loved.

“You look marvellous, brother,” Jongdae offered with a smile as he saw his brother walk down the room in the finest green silk robe, small silver flowers embroidered at the bottom simulating the motions of the waves. 

“What good is it if I can’t find in myself the energy to smile?”

“Yixing…” He took Yixing’s hands, holding them close to his chest,” I would do anything to stop this if I could, but Jumnyeon is a good man and I’m sure the Kims will take care of you.”

His brother offered him a weak smile, sadness filling his eyes. “I know I can learn to love him, but who will take care of you in my absence?” 

“Please, don’t worry over me. I will keep looking for a suitor and I will be by your side until your marriage.”

Yixing held his hand a bit tighter while he pressed his forehead against Jongdae, a small gesture of love that made Jongdae smile. For once, Jongdae had to be the stronger one, to allow Yixing to rest on him when the world felt like falling down _—_ a small way to repay for all the love the youngest gave him throughout an empty life.

“Go meet your new family and then come back to me…” he requested in a whisper, slowly pulling away from his brother. He nodded, head tilting in a small bow before turning his back to Jongdae.

Once again, he found himself alone in a ballroom full of bodies as his eyes searched for something new in a sea of familiar colours.

The grey of the Soo was an option for the night but Jongdae wasn’t raised a fool — it was clear that the heir had his eyes set on Kim's Golden boy. Who wouldn’t? He had seen the young boy dance across the room, graceful as a feather with the beauty of a diamond. Made Jongdae wonder how it must feel, to be the centre of the crowd for all the right motives. Being the jewel everyone wants to possess. 

He had dreamed about it once. Debuting into high society, being introduced to the people and meeting all those dignified elves that knew his parents and shared a life by their side. Dance their dances in a ball of silver and gold, have them whispering his name as they recognize his worth and talent, maybe meet someone that didn’t fear him, to end his night in safe arms…

However, dreams are dreams for a reason and, as a prince, Jongdae knows better than to get lost in silly fantasies.

Taking a tall glass of sparkling nectar, Jongdae made his way through the ballroom, merging himself with the shadows of the quietest corners as he heard the people talk about the latest rumours:

_“I heard the Park’s boy has a lover…”_

_Does he, now?_ _Probably the Oh’s youngest,_ Jongdae thought savouring his drink.

_“What a bold move of the Kim’s, they must be desperate for the throne.”_

_“Don’t be foolish dear, King Yedam would never take the crown from his oldest.”_

_“We all know he just keeps him because he is Daeun’s reflection.”_

_Enough,_ he decided, silent steps turning in another direction.

_“The Kim’s have been blessed. A lady-in-waiting of the Soo’s told me they sent a marriage proposal for their youngest.”_

_Kyungsoo must be delighted. Good for him._

_“... He is gorgeous. Who is he? Is he even noble?”_

_“With that scar? Unlikely.”_

_Scar?_ Jongdae shifted his eyes from the wall in their direction, surprise overtaking him as his eyes found the source of said gossip.

He was stunning. 

Long loose platinum hair tied with a topknot that showed off the stranger sharp features and blueish eyes. Smart eyes, Jongdae noticed — they had that shine of ambition and charisma, as if his aura wasn’t already enough to tell everyone he was someone that came to win.

His beauty and grace were unmatching but what fascinated Jongdae was the scar said stranger carried proudly — a thin line that crossed from cheek to cheek above his nose. Something one would try to hide in a society that coveted for perfection. One could even try to remove it with the right herbs, except… If it was made by magic.

Could it be? It had been banished long before Jongdae was even born and he too carried a scar brought by magic far from praying eyes.

Maybe he could share a few words with him, before everyone warned him about Jongdae’s status.

“Excuse me, would you like some company?” A raspy, warm voice asked, pulling him from his head.

Jongdae looked at the person with wide eyes, surprised at how he didn’t notice the stranger making his way to him. _How could the man look even more beautiful from up close?_

“I…” The stranger interrupted with a small smile, “Sorry, I forget myself. Would your highness enjoy some company?”

“Have we perhaps met on another occasion?” Jongdae wondered, curiosity taking the best of him. Why did a stranger know his status?

“Unfortunately, this is the first time I have the pleasure to meet your highness,” He explained, a bold hand gently grabbed Jongdae’s and took her to his lips, ”I’m Lord Baekhyun of Daked, delighted to make your acquaintance.”

“How scandalous, touching a royal without permission…” Jongdae pointed out, arching an eyebrow so far rather unimpressed by his behaviour. 

_A Byun looking for a way into court,_ he thought.

“Rumor is your highness is rather an unconventional royal. I’m a rather unconventional man myself, I beg you forgive me for my boldness.”

“I may do so, considering how you made this night a bit more entertaining,” Jongdae shrugged. “Tell me, Lord Baekhyun, what brings you to our court? To my understanding, Daked is an isolated kingdom of the south, your King wouldn’t send you so far away from home for nothing.”

“You are correct, _my prince_ ,” Baekhyun nodded, words carrying a weight Jongdae would be imprudent not to notice. “I’m a bastard, one of a dozen within the royal family, therefore my father — the King — sent me to make alliances, or as he said ‘Making myself useful’.”

Marriage he means. He was sent to get married to someone, preferably someone with power.

Part of him couldn’t find in himself to care about the clear intentions this Lord had. He could feel his eyes travelling through his body with hunger, the confident smirk in his lips and how close the other stood from him. But why should he care?

He needed a suiter, the Gods gave him one. The attraction was there, surely Jongdae could learn to live with the other, even like him someday.

“What a dutiful son and ambitious, if I may add,” Jongdae put his glass down, eyes fixed on the other. “What gives you the impression our court has space for you?”

“All courts need a troublemaker or a risk-taker, if you prefer,” Baekhyun took a step closer, a smirk growing as he eyed the prince’s lips.

“What if we already have one?” Jongdae challenged, head raised.

“Then I will gladly take the space of your bed warmer.”

Jongdae’s eyes grew larger, faced with such audacity. 

Deciding not to give him another minute of his night, Jongdae walked away unaware of the redness of his ears and the proud smile carried by the young lord as he followed with his search for the king. Jongdae knew that was the next step the Lord would take.

Why did it make him so nervous? 

Jongdae was seen in a crowd. Someone noticed him and decided they wanted him, it was a bonus being someone he also found attractive. But it bored him to know it was most likely because of his status and the rumours around him — because he is cursed and can’t be picky if he wants his crown; because he isn’t as perfect as expected; because he was born a disaster. 

“Are you okay, Jongdae?” Kyungsoo asked, noticing how the prince roamed the ballroom, years of friendship overcoming formalities.

“No, I need to get some air.”

“Do you want me to grab Yixing for you?”

“Please don’t,” Jongdae said, looking over his shoulder to where Yixing was standing by his fiancé greeting a line of nobles. “Have you seen my father?”

“Yes, I heard some nobles calling him to introduce him to some Lord from Daked. An alliance, they said.”

“As my friend, I beg you, stop him from looking for me. Tell him I got sick on nectar and retired to my chambers a bit earlier.”

“What happened?” Kyungson wondered with worried eyes, a friendly hand resting on his shoulder.

“For now, nothing. I need to go,” Jongdae took Kyungsoo’s hand from his shoulder, before giving a weak smile to his friend. “Congratulations on the proposal, I’m sure he will say yes.”

That said, Jongdae left the ballroom in large steps, quickly fading into the shadows of the castle and its empty halls with a single place in mind. 

In a castle full of people there was only a place he could forget everything, a place frozen in time and forbidden even for him — the silver garden.

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

It still surprised him how a place can be forgotten after being the centre of life for years, generations even. A beautiful garden now locked between the stone walls of an abandoned wing of the castle. What happened, no one ever told him exactly, but Jongdae prided himself in not being a fool. The first time he had come across the forbidden space, he learned why it was locked.

A garden haunted by a winter that not even the warmest summer could end.

It was as beautiful as it was tragic.

Jongdae made his way between the frozen roses and hydrangeas, small flakes of snow falling into his — now loose — black hair, hands tightly pressing the silky robes against his skin in an attempt to keep himself warmer. 

Everything was as he remembered seeing years ago. Flowers filling the spaces around the stone road that extended through the garden and around the oval — unfrozen — lake. Miraculously, the cherry tree above the lake still stood tall and healthy, a sign of life that Jongdae admired. But in this deep and strange garden, it wasn’t the winter nor the impossible tree that always pulled Jongdae in, it was the crystal statue that stood in the centre.

A beautiful one of a woman, who’s face Jongdae had only seen when looking in the mirror. 

_Mother,_ Jongdae thought, fingers gently caressing the statue’s face as they traced over her features.

For long, he had wondered how she was. Scholars’ diaries described her as clever, the maids as a kind master, his father as a good wife and lover. However, facing her statue in a frozen garden, Jongdae can’t help the growing resentment in his chest for the woman he didn’t know.

Had she loved him at some point? Most likely not. He was always told how she left him after birth, disappearing in the last summer night as if he meant nothing.

And then again, maybe she was right.

Jongdae wasn’t sure if he deserved to be loved, maybe his father’s and brother’s love was all he was going to get and it was fine. He had his people, being their prince and future king would be enough. Love wasn’t necessary.

 _Surely it will be fine. I will be fine._ Slowly, he repeated those words again and again as he paced around the garden, trying hard to make them into something he could believe in. 

_Who am I trying to trick?,_ he wondered, knees hitting the cold ground by the lake and for the first time he let his tears fall for selfish reasons — he was scared. Terrified by the thought of a life without love.

Don’t get him wrong, Jongdae knew his destiny and was ready to follow with it, but never had it been so close to becoming a reality. Therefore, he was allowed to cry, for after the sunrise his heart would have to fall as numb as the crystalized roses in the garden.

Fantasies truly lost for duty.


	3. Grace

The morning sun forced Jongdae to walk into the dining room — whispers of maids telling him everything he needed to know about what that morning was bringing him.

Table set and breakfast served, Jongdae’s eyes focused on the people seated around the table upon his arrival. His father at the head of the table with an amused smile while he talked with the person seated in a seat to his right, Baekhyun. Jongdae forced himself to not roll his eyes, a serenity mask tightly fixed on his face as he greeted his brother and fiancé and took his rightful seat at his father’s right.

“Good morning father,” Jongdae greeted with a small vow before seating without sparing a look at the intruder at the table.

“Good morning, my blessing, are you feeling better?” His father asked, worried eyes making Jongdae’s chest fill with guilt.

“Yes, I apologize for scaring you. I hope the party ran smoothly in my absence.”

“It was lovely, Junmyeon’s family brought a new invention from their lands — It resembles fire magic!” beamed Yixing, arm wrapping around Junmyeon. Jongdae smiled at the small gesture.

“They call it fireworks, it’s nothing as magnificent as magic but Prince Yixing seems to enjoy it,” Junmyeon explained, gently looking at his fiancé.

“I’m sure I will get to see them in a near-future then.”

“Also, we have a guest,” his father extended his right hand in Baekhyun’s direction, “Lord Baekhyun from Daked came so far to ask for your hand.”

Jongdae arched an eyebrow, lips stuck in a thin line. “Did he now?”

Ignoring him, his father proceeded. ” Daked is such a rich land on rare mineral, tying our nations would be—”

“Father,” Jongdae interrupted with a sigh,” there is no need for long lectures in the morning. I accept it, I shall marry him if that is what our kingdom asks me to do.”

Shifting his eyes to his side, Jongdae silently glanced at Baekhyun. _The people need it._

“Excellent, a messenger shall be sent to Daked and, in the meantime, I expect you to keep our guest entertained. Show him the castle and take it as an opportunity to get to know each other, Baekhyun has already proven himself an excellent company.”

“You praised me too much, Your Majesty. I’m merely trying to please my future father in law.”

“ _Bootlicker_ ,” Jongdae whispered in between teeth and took a sip from his goblet, getting surprised by a sudden sweetness he had never tasted before. 

Baekhyun noticed said reaction, a smirk forming in his lips. “Do you enjoy it, my prince?,” he leaned to Jongdae’s side, “It’s a special tea from my homeland, made from our nation’s flower. The seniors often gift it to young couples as a wish for a healthy relationship between them.”

 _An aphrodisiac then_ , Jongdae understood as he pushed his goblet to the centre of the table.

“I dislike this much sweetness in the morning,” he lied,” but the thought was appreciated.”

“Jongdae…” His father warned but he ignored it.

“I will do the honour of showing our castle to Lord Baekhyun, however, I woke up with a dreadful headache so I hope you will understand if I ask you to wait as I visit the castle’s healer,” Jongdae explained, looking at Baekhyun.

“Yes, of course. Your well being is, after all, also my priority dear fiancé.”

_Highly doubt it._

_“_ Perfect, I shall take my leave then,” he rose from his seat, breakfast still untouched but truthfully he couldn’t bear to watch his father continuously drooling over this unknown lord, slash, his future husband. “Meet me at the garden in a couple of hours Lord Baekhyun, we will start our little tour there.”

“Will be happily waiting for you,” Baekhyun purred, resting his chin on his head.

Jongdae fought the urge to roll his eyes as he left the dining room with a bitter taste in his mouth and the growing need to breathe as the walls of the palace seemed to be closing in around him.

Never had he thought that one day he would hate the arranged marriage he so much needed, but everything was just being too much — his father’s love for Baekhyun just because he agreed on a crazy marriage, the flirty remarks, the beginning of traditions…Everything was feeling very real in a very small fraction of time. And he just couldn’t deal with it.

 _God, I look like a brat,_ he thought, pressing a hand on a loose stone of the main hall’s wall to open one of the secret passages of the castle. _Running and hiding while Yixing is dealing just perfectly fine with his arrangement._

_But it isn’t the same, isn’t it?_

They knew Junmyeon since they were children, knew his parents and their traditions just as well as they knew everyone in their court or their allies. They weren’t strangers nor was he from an unknown kingdom they know next to nothing about. 

Jongdae shook his head, walking into the, barely illuminated, tunnel only thinking that soon he would be back into his soft bed with no Baekhyun within sight.

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

“Now what?” Jongdae asked himself, between a crossroad, not sure which one to take.

There shouldn’t be one. He was sure it was two rights and a left and then he just needed to go straight into the next exit. Could he have it wrong? _Maybe it was two lefts,_ he pondered looking back at the road he came from. 

He should go back. Jongdae knows that… Going back from where he came was the safest option when faced with two dark and narrow tunnels. However, he just couldn’t. His eyes kept looking into the darkness of one of the tunnels, looking for something he couldn’t see but somehow he felt it as his mind tried to convince him into walking back to safety.

Didn’t take him more than a step to understand what it was — a breeze. A sharp freezing breeze that was barely hitting his chest as he stood in front of the tunnel.

“I can go take a look..”

 _Don’t be stupid, just go back,_ his brain warned him.

 _It’s right there, I can turn back when I can’t see any more light…_ he reasoned, setting aside his self—preservation’s warnings. 

Carefully, Jongdae braved through the narrow left tunnel, pushing his right shoulder in front of him to avoid dragging his robes on the harsh stone walls. He would go far, just enough to ease the voice in his mind that told him to go a little deeper into the tunnel, to see what was beyond the light. 

His right hand’s fingers followed the left wall, giving him a sense of stability even if the ground below him was being obscured by his shadow. Wasn’t much, but it allowed him to know that the tunnel wasn’t over when he was about to lose the last glimpse of light. 

Again, the breeze hit him, hard as if pushing him back into the light, telling him to turn and run from the unknown. But the sense of familiarity was there, like a hand pressing on to the small curve of his back, guiding him to go a bit forward. 

Just a little bit more. 

_A few more steps…_ he told himself fighting the shivers and the temporary blindness until his hand felt a curve on the wall as if the tunnel was taking a turn to the right, but his shoulders no longer felt the need to press against his body. _Would it be a chamber?_ Jongdae wondered, blinking constantly trying to help his eyes accustomed to the darkness. 

There was little he could see. Some tall stone columns, some forms that may be from alters and in the centre a large empty space. _An old temple,_ he thought as he stepped longer to the centre in an attempt to see what was in front of him as it was starting to look more and more like a human figure. A statue perhaps.

It was impossible for him to see his features or to figure out which of the Old Gods was it representing, but from where it was and how cold the chamber was his guess was God Xiumin, the ruler of Winter and Death.

Being careful with his feet, Jongdae stood to the statue’s side, noticing how the figure sat on a throne as his hand served as his eyes for the meantime. Daringly, he cupped the figure’s head on his hands, surprised with how soft it felt against his skin and how small it was. 

Gentle fingers traced over his mouth, nose and eyes, slowly building an image of who stood in front of him in his mind. A God, he was sure, for no common elf could have such sharp and perfect features.

Could it be the temple of the old God of Winter and Death? Jongdae had heard stories about his role on the end of the Old Elven and their Gods, even about some of the old traditions. The sacrifices he asked from their people and how they all ended up dying on his hand as payment for setting free the darker of all forces, for magic always came with a price.

Those acts left an impression on their history that left the Old Gods forever titled as ruthless and violent deities that one should look up to or pray for — the same was applied to magic. But staying in that temple, Jongdae felt everything but a malign energy. It was cold and yet peaceful, dark but he wasn’t afraid of its shadows. 

Instead, the elf felt as if he needed to give something back at the temple to apologize for his intrusion in a sacred place. But what could he leave? With him, he had only his jewels; however, he doubted said God would appreciate the energy of crystals in his temple, especially when they were connected to a whole new set of beliefs.

 _My purity..._ he thought, looking at his open hand. A few drops of blood wouldn’t be missed and that should please the Old God if he even cared that lot about his intrusion. 

Jongdae took his right thumb to his ear, pressing it against the sharp end of one of his many earrings until feeling it piercing his skin. Suppressing a hiss of pain, he let go of the earring, carefully guiding his thumb to the statue’s lips. If the story were correct, the Gods used to drink the blood of the sacrificed elves, as this purity would clean the growing darkness within the Gods and purify their energies so they could rise and rule them with fairness while protecting them from the dark forces.

As he pressed his thumb, Jongdae took the opportunity to look around one more time as his eyes were starting to be accustomed to the absence of light. He could still feel the breeze and if it was a temple, then there should be a door around there somewhere. But before he could retreat his hand, something wet and velvet-like passed along his thumb.

Scared about what that could be, Jongdae shivered trying to quickly pull his hand just to be stopped by a strong hand grabbing his pulse. 

“Sweet thing, going somewhere?”

_W—what?_

Jongdae froze, eyes wide as he looked down to the statue or whatever it was _. Fuck, What did I do? Will I die here?! I can’t die here… Would he take Baekhyun instead?_

Soft lips pressed against his still bleeding thumb, kissing it before licking it once more. 

“It is sweet of you to offer me your blood, but also a bit imprudent, don’t you think?” 

“I—I…”

“Shhh, little lamb. Just answer my question, can you be nice and do that?” Jongdae nodded, even if he wasn’t sure if that thing could see him. “How long was the war?”

“W—which one?” Jongdae asked, still too afraid to try to move.

“The only one that matters.” 

_The end of the last era, he means._ “Centuries? No one is sure of the time.”

He couldn’t see the man(?) expressions but his grip got stronger. “Why? What happened?”

“W—we… We don’t know. The cities fell and our kind barely survived, only the outcast and small tribes survived and we rebuilt from there…”

“Who do you worship now? Zitao, the God of Time? Yifan, the Great Dragon of Life?”

“It doesn’t have a name nor a gender, I’m afraid,” Jongdae tried to explain, licking his dry lips. “We worship the Gods of nature, the great forces that look after us and bless us with what we need to build our world.”

“So… God Suho? He was a little know-it-all back then...” 

Even if he couldn’t see the other, it was clear in his voice that he was confused by Jongdae’s answers, trying to rationalize what he was saying into something he knew or understood like a small child in the grown-up world.

“It doesn’t matter. Your people are all too simple-minded. Tell me who are you, little lamb?”

“My name is Jongdae, Prince of Leidian and heir of House Zhang,” He said with confidence.

“Yeah,” Xiumin tilted his head, clicking his tongue,” that tells me nothing, but good for you.”

Jongdae frowned, frustration overcoming his fear. “If it doesn’t tell you anything why would you even ask?!”

“To know if you are worth keeping around. Now come,” the man rose from the throne, pulling Jongdae with him as he walked through the dark chamber, “you will show me your city and your people’s ways.”

“I… I can’t, I need to go back to the palace!”

“Oh little thing, It wasn’t a suggestion,” he looked back at the prince, shining blue eyes piercing his soul. “No one says ‘no’ to the God Xiumin.”

_Yeah, I’m not dying for that little overconfident Lord. His visit will have to wait._

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

“What is that?”

“Ice cream shop.”

“What is an ice cream?”

Jongdae tries to find the words to explain, but instead just gave the God some coins. “Go buy some and find out, it’s cold so you might like it.”

The moment Jongdae saw Xiumin in the daylight, he was sure the man was a God with his graceful long black hair and the prettiest cat-like blue eyes he had ever seen. Everything about that man was godly, even his blue velvet tunic that hugged perfectly his torso while exposing a bit of his pale chest. 

The image of perfection and yet they shared some extinct traits.

It was fascinating to see, for the first time, another person with black hair and to see it was beautiful, but the way the light made his hair shine was nothing less than bewitching to the prince. The same could be said about his eyes and the similarities it shared with his own eyes, sharper pupils and just as reflective as a feline. But where Jongdae’s golden irises made him strange to look at, Xiumin’s made one feel as if they were looking into the eyes of a siren, that pulled them closer and closer to him.

However, no matter how beautiful the god was, his behaviour wasn’t what Jongdae expected. It was as if he was walking a child around town, no trace of the cruel and violent god he was described to be, just innocent and a bit chaotic at times.

“Come with me, mortal,” he ordered, pulling his sleeve. _Yes, just like a child._

“Do you fear that I will leave you alone?”

“No, you could be tricking me into a trap. You need to try it first, so I know it is safe!”

“Fine,” Jongdae rolled his eyes. “But after this, I need to go back to the castle.”

“Okay, I shall follow you to that castle of yours, but I expect you to serve me once we get there.”

“Excuse me?” He asked, looking at Xiumin with an arched brow. “Look, Xiu—”

“Great God Xiumin.”

“Whatever, Great God Xiumin. I just got engaged and I already failed to show up to show my fiancé around the castle. I will have a group of maids at your service until you decide to go back to the temple or something, okay?”

“No, it must be you!”

“Why?” Jongdae whined, when Xiumin turned his back at him, to pay for the ice cream he had ordered.

“Lick it!” He ordered the prince, pushing the treat into his face. Jongdae did so, just to shut him up before pulling the conversation back to the main subject.

“Tell me why it must be me!”

“Because I, an all-powerful God, said so!” Xiumin smiled at him, happily filling his mouth with ice cream with a sound of delight.

“All-powerful my ass… If you are all that powerful why were you in an underground temple just chilling? Got nothing better to do?”

Xiumin gave him a side glare, telling him that he forgot himself but Jongdae couldn’t bring himself to feel remotely guilty or wrong. He may have played along with the god’s whims but his mind didn’t let go of the main question: Why was he dormant in that temple and what did he want from him?

Jongdae didn’t have time for games or more problems, the marriage rituals would be starting in less than a day and he couldn’t ruin it by presenting an Old God to court or his father. That wouldn’t be a good move, especially when said God is the God of Winter and Death and they already call him the Cursed Prince.

“Please listen to me, I would be honoured to serve you if it had been in another moment in my life. Even if you aren’t my God, it’s still is my duty to do the best for my people and pissing off a God is not on the list for sure. But I—” Jongdae shook his head ignoring Xiumin’s eyes on him, “We need this marriage to work out, so please I beg you… Just play along?”

“What do you mean ‘Play along’?”

“Don’t tell anyone that you are The God Xiumin and go along with any lie I may tell about you okay?”

Xiumin turned his head to the side, chin and nose lifted in the air as if he was forcing himself to ignore his words. 

“Fine!” Jongdae growled, turning on his heels to go home. “Have fun going back to your cave or doing whatever you want!”

“Wait, you can’t turn your backs on a God!” Xiumin caterwauled, racing to grab Jongdae’s arms before he had a chance to disappear from his sight.

“Not my God so I do whatever I want! Now will Your Glory Pain In The Ass collaborate?”

To be fully honest, Jongdae knew, in that exact moment, that nothing good could come from this and various outcomes passed through his mind: a) Xiumin would kill him and eat him; b) He would just eat him sashimi style or c) he would just turn him into a lamb to torture and eat later. 

In all of those he had zero chance of not being turned into dinner, so it came as a surprise when Xiumin just nodded and followed him into the castle without a complaint. _Maybe he is waiting for nightfall to eat me…_ Nonetheless, he was thankful for being alive and only a little — very — late for his meeting with Baekhyun, which now had an extra guest for the tour, but that shouldn’t be a problem. He didn’t need to explain anything to that horny lord when he was still an outsider inside of his family’s castle. 

Yes, Jongdae just needed to lie about who Xiumin was. Baekhyun knew nothing about their lands, it would be easy enough.

“Xiumin, do you have another name?” Jongdae wondered while turning to the god as they entered the royal garden. Eyes failing to notice how Xiumin’s big eyes looked around trying to absorb any information.

“I… My brothers called me Minseok.”

Jongdae nodded, biting his lower lip. “Do you mind if I introduce you as Minseok? Xiumin is a rather… _known_ name and with your appearance… I’m afraid they may be capable of connecting the dots.”

Minseok lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t care.”

He could work with _I don’t care_. That was more than perfect for the moment.

Except, life was trying _really_ hard to prove to Jongdae that she hated him, cause, as they walked closer to the main entrance of the garden, Jongdae could perfectly see Baekhyun standing in all his glory in a rather lovely black tunic and leather pants against the wooden door and beside him… His brother and fiancé.

“Shit…” He cursed, pulling Minseok’s blue cloak to stop him from moving closer. A great technique if it wasn’t for Yixing’s eagle-like eyes that noticed them from afar. “Shit.”

“What is with you and crude language?”

“Just… Just pray for a miracle okay?”

“To who? Myself?”

“Jongdae!” Yixing called them, waving his arm while guiding their small group to slowly meet them in the middle.

“Smile and keep your mouth shut…” Jongdae whispered in between teeth.

“Good to see you, dear, although you stood me up,” Baekhyun greeted him, daring to put an arm around his waist.

Biting his tongue, Jongdae chose to behave. “I apologize for my lateness… To be honest, I got lost in the castle’s tunnels.”

“It happens,” Yixing smiled in understanding before turning his curious eyes to Minseok. “Who is this? Is he from your family, Myeonnie?”

Jongdae’s eyes wide while looking at Minseok’s blue and black robes before turning to meet Junmyeon’s eyes. There was confusion in his eyes as if he was listing all his family members in his mind just looking for Minseok’s face, but all of them knew better. His hair and eyes… If Minseok was, in fact, a member of their court, they would have probably pushed him to Jongdae because… well, freaks are meant to be. 

Only God would know what took over Junmyeon, if it was a miracle or just the desperation in Jongdae’s eyes.

“Yes, he is,” Junmyeon confirmed, smiling at Minseok. “A cousin from my mother’s side that got adopted into the family.”

“Lord Minseok, this is my fiancé, Lord Baekhyun, and my brother, Prince Yixing, ” Minseok looked at him with bored eyes before looking at Jongdae. 

Jongdae took a deep breath at Minseok’s silence. “Lord... Won’t you greet them?”

“You told me to keep my mouth shut,” Minseok reminded him, arching a brow and crossing his arms. An awkward silence stood as Jongdae looked at him bewildered. _He is shitting me!?_

The sound of Junmyeon’s laughter broke the silence as he pressed his hand on Yixing’s shoulder to keep himself straight. “Sorry,” he tried to explain, words being cut by his laughter, “my cousin has little social interaction so far. He may have taken it to heart, prince Jongdae…”

 _Oh, I’m not apologizing,_ he wished to say but couldn’t. “I will keep it in mind for the future.”

“How did you meet him, dear?” 

“I saw him at the back of the castle, we were both lost and I found it intriguing to finally see someone that looks like me,” he explained, happy to see Yixing and Baekhyun nodding to his story.

“Yes, it is fascinating… I wonder how we never heard about him,” Baekhyun implied looking at Junmyeon with distrust.

“If I remember correctly, you aren’t a member of House Kim. How we do things is only our business,” Junmyeon smiled, arching his brows as if he was challenging Baekhyun to ask anything more which the Lord didn’t appreciate.

“Are we supposed to ignore how strange it all seems?”

“Can we just go for the tour?” Jongdae answered, pulling Baekhyun’s sleeve to make him look at his pouting lips and big eyes, “Please…”

“Fine…” Baekhyun murmured, looking away from the prince. “Whatever.”

Jongdae smiled at the Lord, taking him by the arm as he started walking along the garden — discreetly looking over Baekhyun’s shoulders to note how Minseok was doing on his own. 

So far, he was proving to be a survivor as he observed their surroundings and ignored any conversation starter that Yixing and Junmyeon threw his way. But Jongdae couldn’t stop himself from wondering how far their lie would last and why had Junmyeon helped them… Above all, he wondered how much that kindness would cost them.


	4. Mist

“This castle was built above the runes of what is thought to be the main castle of the Old Elves. Made from stone and cement, the eldest and main wing is a replica of the old castle.”

_How confusing… Old elves?_

Minseok’s head hurt. Who were those people Jongdae talked about? There weren’t people around when the war began, just him and his brothers against the Celestials. Ever since he woke up to meet that fragile being, he knew something was missing — a piece of him and his mind — but never had he thought it would be such a big piece missing. Stolen, he dared to say. Centuries of living just taken away from him and he couldn’t even think of someone to suspect, but everything inside him told him to follow Jongdae. 

He had felt the darkness around him even if his blood was pure as a newborn’s, yet when they stood under the sun, Minseok couldn’t miss the double shadow Jongdae carried. What it was, Minseok had no clue, but it was feeding itself on his soul’s darkest feelings like a parasite. 

Normally, he wouldn’t care. Those weren’t his people — he didn’t have people. However, whoever had done that was just as powerful as Minseok and so far the only magic user that Minseok could believe to be capable of erasing a God’s memory.

“Why built above runes?” Minseok asked, curious about such a particular choice.

“Our ancestors wanted the past to be remembered,” Jongdae explained.

“Grandma used to say that those who walk through those halls should be reminded about how fragile our walls are in the face of magic, so no one would ever lift their ban.”

_Magic was banished?_

Those mortals were foolish, to think they could banish something as natural as magic — it came as natural as breathing to magical beings. _Fucking morons,_ no wonder they looked and felt so drained of essence, the morons would probably go extinct on their own in two or three generations if they kept on starving their magical core like that. 

Yet, that brought on other questions into Minseok’s mind: If magic was banished, why could he feel Jongdae’s essence and who could be powerful enough to deal with dark magic without a master?

Minseok clicked his tongue, “What a headache…”

“What?” Jongdae asked, not sure if he had heard correctly.

“Nothing, go on,” Minseok brushed it off, looking at the paintings around them as Jongdae carried on with the tour.

The gears in Minseok’s brain were spinning, searching for anything that could answer his question. Was it possible for someone to even have that type of magic without sacrifices? 

Magic was part of them as beings, but it didn’t come without a price. Yin and yang had to be in balance and for that one had to give to the spirits to manifest their power, for example, a beating heart for a dead one. _The purity of a soul to save a corrupt one._

Looking once again to Jongdae’s shadow, Minseok rolled his eyes, concealing his will to hiss at someone. Millions of years, a divine status and it still took him a few hours to fully see the picture before him: Whatever smartass took his memory is probably the same that has latched on Jongdae’s essence or soul — he was still not sure on that one — and he was probably not feeding, but waiting for the seeds of shadows within Jongdae to take over to sacrifice his purity for… world domination? Too many details for him to guess.

If he wanted to have his memories back, then he needed Jongdae at his best for that should weaken whatever spell that was cast around his memories or allowed him to remember if they were stolen. And, so far, anyone could be a suspect, even with weak essences and auras that could only be compared to one of a baby, dismissing anyone at this point would be a stupid move since said person has already proven himself as a very smart individual.

Yixing, the lovely brother; Baekhyun, the confident fiancé; and Junmyeon, the guy that lied but Minseok couldn’t understand why. 

Minseok waited as they walked around the halls, observing every single one of them, until a chance presented itself to him. While Jongdae and Yixing explained to Baekhyun some of their costumes, Junmyeon stood back, content in watching it unfold.

Taking the space beside Junmyeon, Minseok wasn’t about to beat around the bush when time was short. “Why did you lie?” The other blinked at him, surprised by how frank Minseok was.

“I…” Junmyeon cleared his throat. “I don’t know how much you know, but I hurt Jongdae not too long ago,” his eyes lowered in shame and a small forced smile appeared in his lips. “It was only fair to help him for once.”

“You don’t know me, for all you know, I could use your family’s name and shame you all to avenge him or something. Do you trust his judgement that much?”

Junmyeon nodded. “Jongdae is a good person and he needs all the friends he can get. Also, it may be a wild guess, but something tells me you will be a wild card. You look like him and yet you present yourself in a different light than Jongdae.”

“You people truly are fools, having different genes is hardly something special,” Minseok snickered, glad to end the conversation as the others came back. “I want to go to bed! Take me to my room!” he whined, grabbing Jongdae’s sleeve while Baekhyun raised his brows at the gesture and grabbed his other sleeve.

“Wait, I will show you your room in a bit,” Jongdae explained, looking from one sleeve to the other.

“I want to go now!”

“He told you to wait, his attention is on me now,” Baekhyun said, sounding as childish as Minseok.

“Gods,” Jongdae sighed, pulling his sleeve free from both their grips. “I’m taking Minseok to his room, I will meet you for tea okay?”

Baekhyun pouted, face close in a frown as he turned his back to them. “Whatever.”

“We will show him the way,” Yixing ensured.

Minseok could almost laugh in triumph when the little elf showed him the way. Keeping Jongdae from the others was a must while he didn’t have any clue about who was behind everything and how it worked, but so far it was an easy task if the prince didn’t even care about his fiancé’s wishes.

With time he could probably convince Jongdae to stay by his side all the time and they could have this thing wrapped in less than a month.

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

Maybe it wasn’t as easy as Minseok had hoped.

Days became weeks and weeks became a month and Minseok was slowly going insane because those people were crazy! They ate meat just because they wanted to, there wasn’t a ritual or a meaning to it, those animals' souls and vital energy weren’t fueling their magic or performing miracles — they were only food to them. And he was the evil one in Jongdae’s books, how ironic. 

Being described as a demon-like God also wasn’t something he had enjoyed, but his list of complaints was way too long for it to be added to it. 

Those elves were just stupid in general and day by day, Baekhyun was starting to hit his nerves while Jongdae seemed to have taking a liking to the other always going around ditching him to go ‘bond’ for their pré—matrimonial trials. How dare him? He is a God! If he didn’t need the prince he would turn him into a frog for leaving him by himself all the time. 

The only good side was that it gave him the time to read some books about their history and put some pieces together:

1— There was a previous society, much more refined than this one, if he is allowed to say so.

2— He and his brothers were their Gods.

3— Sacrifices were a thing but somehow the balance was broken.

4— Something horrible happened that left a stupidly dumb society in front of the elven kind.

Yeah, Minseok still wasn’t over the whole ‘You are different from us so you must be cursed’ thing and even asked Junmyeon about it when he noticed some elves at court had brown hair too, but the other explained that the problem was their eyes and in Jongdae’s case his family bloodline — royalty should have blond hair as it was a dominant trait within the family. It sounded like they were being little shits but Minseok would wait to punish them another time.

“I’m bored!” 

“Stop whining!” Jongdae answered, focused on doing the rune in his own forehead correctly.

“Pay attention to me mortal!” Minseok exclaimed, sitting crossed legged on the carpet.

“Go play outside or go read, you know I can’t today! It’s our first trial and it has to go perfectly!”

The first trial from what he had heard was simple enough: the couple should prepare a circle of runes around the given crystal and sit inside it while pressing their foreheads together. Around them, their families and people shall say the prayer and they shall push their energy combined into the crystal. If it doesn’t break, the couple passes the first trial and depending on the crystal given it should show their compatibility in personalities, sex or love, but they only need to pass two of the three trials to have a blessed wedding. 

Jongdae’s hands were shaking when Minseok raised up to be at his side. The oldest took the brush from his hand. “May I?”

Jongdae nodded, looking up at Minseok as he traced over the straight line Jongdae had already drawn. The brush hovered over his skin for a second as Minseok looked over the drawing guide Jongdae had in front of him. ᛞ, symbol of awakening and the meeting of opposites, the ending of a circle and yet also symbol of hopelessness and blindness. Minseok shook his head, the original drawing thrown to the side as he had his own idea of what rune Jongdae should carry. 

“Why are you doing it?” He wondered as the brush traced only two more lines.

“Hm?”

“The wedding; In the last month, you never looked very happy by his side,” Minseok lifted Jongdae’s chin, holding it to secure his position.

“Baekhyun is nice, he is funny and when he isn’t trying too much, it’s nice to be with him,” his eyes turned to the side.

“But you don’t love him.”

“I will learn to,” Jongdae tried nodding but Minseok’s grip made him whine. “Careful, I bruise easily.”

“You amaze me,” Minseok confessed. “So far, I watched people speak ill of you almost every day and still… you are sacrificing your freedom to rule them well. Would it be easier to let it go? Let Yixing rule for you?”

“Yes, but what type of brother would I be if I laid my burden on his shoulders?” Jongdae smiled, meeting Minseok’s eyes. “I already made him lose his freedom to love, I’m not taking anything else.”

Minseok hummed, fingers leaving Jongdae’s chin as he lowered the brush. “All set,” he murmured, stepping back to admire the freshly drawn ᛉ in the prince’s skin. A shield against evil and a mark that told anyone with a brain that he was protected by the Gods.

There was a lot more Minseok would like to tell Jongdae...

They didn’t deserve him and day after day, Jongdae was proving to Minseok exactly why that foreign shadow wasn’t taken over him when so much darkness was around him, because _day after day_ Jongdae chose to love and forgive. His devotion for his family, that pure heart that loved without asking for anything back was his biggest shield against the seed he had inside him. And yet, Minseok couldn’t shake the feeling that it was also his fatal flaw.

Given the chance, the boy would die for his family, wouldn’t he? He was brave enough to speak back to him, hours after awakening an Old God, fear didn't stop him when his loved ones were at stake. But what would happen if someone broke his heart? 

“Thanks, I’m too nervous.”

“I’m sure it will all go well, you have a great personality and he loves his dick, surely it’s enough to pass the test given by any of the three crystals.”

Jongdae smirked, looking at Minseok while he tied his long hair up. “Someone has been studying.”

“You keep on trading me for him, there isn’t a lot more I can do except read.”

“I will not apologize for not babying you,” he laughed, rolling his eyes. “And you still have Junmyeon, you two have grown closer.”

“Yes,” Minseok nodded, “we have, but he is also preparing for their trials.”

“Oh… I’m sure you will meet someone nice in court, some of my friends are staying in the castle for the trials! You may like them!”

Minseok smiled, patting his head. They both knew Jongdae was being too optimist — he had grown closer to Junmyeon not because he _liked_ him but because he wanted to keep an eye on him and was easier to keep himself close to Junmyeon without raising eyebrows than it was to follow Baekhyun or Yixing around. 

The idea for more people around the castle and around Jongdae wasn’t great news. It meant there could be more suspects than he had thought and that Minseok was definitely going to stick out like a sore thumb in between so many nobles. Jongdae’s people had rules for everything: How to sit, where to sit, how to speak, when to speak… there was even a lot different set of rules for each title one held — not even gods had that many rules. 

And yet, he wasn’t exactly surprised, those people put arranged couples through trials to judge their compatibility even in bed… 

“Sure, I will give them a chance,” Minseok agreed, preparing an excuse to leave. “I’m going to see how Junmyeon is doing, there is still time to kill Baekhyun if you want me to.”

“Don’t. I will meet you at the trial.”

Minseok nodded, closing the door as he left Jongdae to dress himself and maybe do some breathing exercises before his big moment.

The castle’s halls were a mess, full of people running around carrying decorations and last-minute details such as food and drinks to make sure the guests wouldn’t need to come back into the castle to get something. From the window, he could already see the large white ribbons extending from the castle’s walls to the riverbank, protecting the guests from the summer sun. 

They looked ridiculous, fancy clothes covering them from head to toes with heavy fabrics while the woman carried heavy hairstyles that were unnecessarily complicated. It wasn’t their day and yet every single one carried themselves as if they wanted to steal all the attention from the other. In his time, had one of his brothers done that, they would probably punish him for disrespecting the other’s moment — they would probably have ended up serving some deity for a small lifetime or in exile until they knew their place as part of a united force. 

Sitting with one of his feet in the window sill looking down on them, Minseok for the first time understood how fragile those little ants were. He could end them all in a snap of his fingers or a blink of an eye, let their whole society fall into the shadows like they had allowed his to fall. 

“The whole lonely guard dog is not that hot,” a voice mocked and Minseok growled as he recognized it.

“Shouldn’t you be preparing yourself, Byun?” Minseok asked, frozen fingertips tempted to stick.

“I’m ready,” he shrugged, pulling Minseok’s leg to make space for him to also sit at the window sill. Minseok started to kick him away, frowning at his audacity, stopping only when he noticed his white robes. ” Also, I can’t miss the look on their faces when they see you, they are going to scream,” he laughed.

“Are all your people ignorants?” 

“Yah, those are not my people,” Baekhyun corrected him. “My people are far simpler and they don't see a problem in being physically different.”

“And still rumour says that they sent you away. Maybe they are smarter,” Minseok teased.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “I was no one at home, they may not look at appearances but they do care about ranks. Back there I wasn’t even a Byun...This marriage will make them all bow to me, even my father.”

“One marrying for duty, the other for power… What a lovely couple you too make.”

“At least we both know where we stand with each other. And I do find him attractive and nice, a partnership shouldn’t be hard to forge.”

“Marriage is a sacred vow, it should be more than just a partnership,” Minseok shook his head, ignoring Baekhyun’s bewildered expression.

“Are you serious? Did they raise you in a tower? Marriage is always about politics!”

Minseok didn’t answer him. 

Empty vessels, full of all the wrong motivations and dreams. No magic in them, no love — nothing. They disgusted him. Deities above him made them a world to live in, the energies that travelled through all of their bodies to give them wonder at every movement and this was how they were repaid. With empty hearts and dark minds.

_Why did we mould them and filled them with stardust if they ended up like this?_

_Wait what?_

Minseok frowned his eyebrows, eyes turning to his lap as he sat straighter, handheld over his heart. How did he know that?

It was frustrating, he wanted to drive deeper into his mind, look for the origin of what he said, but everything he was close enough to remember his mind filled with white noise. There was nothing to hold on as he was pushed away from his memories. But at least he knew something now: his core energy had held on to some knowledge, he just had to trigger it. ‘How’ would be the problem.

“Yeah, Kim are you okay?” Baekhyun asked, leaning over into Minseok’s space as he reached his hand to touch his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare touch me,” Minseok hissed, slapping his hand away. 

“Are you always going to be this bitchy with me?”

“Don’t know, are you always going to be this annoying?” 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, leaning back against the wall. “Whatever, but tell me, what did I do to you? Did I ruin your plan of proposing or something?”

“What?”

“You are always around Jongdae, I thought maybe you wanted to marry him or you were once lovers.”

Minseok raised a brow, lips forming a smirk. “Now you are worried about love?”

“I have a heart you know?” Baekhyun said in a hurt tone, eyes turning to the riverbank while his face was painted with a sober expression. “Some of us can’t just follow it. My life depends on his marriage.” 

Tilling his head, Minseok allowed the question in his mind to slip from his lips. “Are you in love, Byun?”

Shaking his head, Baekhyun’s cloudy eyes turned to Minseok. “I thought I was, a long time ago, now I’m content with just seeing him happy from afar. Like the blooming flower I wouldn’t dare to pick, he will live better without me. I’m sure you understand it.”

Minseok hummed. “I’m afraid I don’t. I never loved someone.”

“Are you for real?” Baekhyun gasped, hands covering his mouth as the words slipped. “Sorry, I thought you and Jongdae had a thing.”

“We don’t, but I will still hurt you if you hurt him.”

“Sure,” Baekhyun smiled. “I can live with that and I wouldn’t hate you if you fell for him eventually.”

 _Foolish mortal._

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

“Why do I need to be here?” Minseok whined way too loud into Junmyeon’s ear. 

“The staff thinks you are from my family side, would be frowned upon if you stayed in the castle during the trials,” Junmyeon explained once again, massaging his abused ear. “Why don’t you try interacting with others?”

“Do I look like the social type?” Minseok crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against one of the many trees around them. “Besides I don’t have anything to talk about with those people. Their ways are strange and your politics are way over complicated!”

“Already told you once, one kingdom divided into five lordships, four that swore to serve House Zhang as their rulers. Then there are other neighbouring kingdoms…” Minseok raised his hand, stopping Junmyeon.

“Yes, I know all that bullshit, still I don’t get it! Why go through so much trouble when you could all just live in community or on your own?” 

“Have you been living under a rock?” 

_Again with this shit..._

Luck was on Junmyeon’s side as he was saved from Minseoks’s sass by a delicate melody of bells. Looking over Junmyeon’s figure, Minseok’s eyes were perplexed by the two figures with arms linked and raised heads that marched out of the castle in their matching silver flowing robes, loose translucent green cloaks over their shoulders and covering their hair. There were gasps around them, people whispering about the brothers’ beauty and some malicious filled words about Jongdae that made Minseok wish he could just freeze their tongues for it.

Those little vipers didn’t deserve the King they would get — his kindness and devotion were wasted on people that couldn’t see beyond his differences. In his time, Jongdae would have been his favourite were those his people, someone filled with blessings and the most powerful magical aura. No one would dare to raise even their eyes at him in fear of what the Gods would send their way. In a way, Minseok hoped that Jongdae was just as favoured by his God, that its deity was present in his life and had sent Jongdae into Minseok’s temple to offer him an extra pillar to protect him from the evilness around him.

Everything in Minseok wanted to grab Jongdae and run away from that circus they called court, but he couldn’t, that wasn’t his place in Jongdae’s story. Baekhyun was the one taking Jongdae’s hand when the brothers parted ways to go to their betrothed and Minseok wouldn’t feel a growing bitterness in his mouth at seeing Jongdae smiling back at Baekhyun. Why should he? He didn’t trust Yixing anymore than he trusted Baekhyun, so why did it bother him when Yixing’s touch was indifferent to his eyes?

“They will be a cute couple,” a warm, smooth — and yet almost boyish — voice commented with him.

Looking to the side, Minseok was surprised to see a new figure instead of Junmyeon. The boy was around his height, with long brown hair and light amber round eyes. Pretty in a very ‘ I can kick your ass’ type of way. “And you are?”

“Lord Kyungsoo of Nakowan, a pleasure to meet another Kim,” he said, gesturing to Minseok’s blue robes.

“Hm, sure. Lord Minseok, I guess,” he shrugged, turning his attention again to the main event, noticing how Junmyeon was now with Yixing standing close to Jongdae and Baekhyun.

“They make a rather nice couple...” Kyungsoo pointed out.

“Oh, we are still doing this?” Minseok asked, gesturing between them. “Fine, which one? Shortie and Stoned or Prince and the Goblin?”

“Both. But you didn’t seem to be looking at Yixing and Junmyeon.”

“Is this conversation going somewhere?” Minseok leaned forward, back taking his weight from the tree as he straightened himself to look directly into Kyungsoo’s eyes.

Kyungsoo lifted his shoulder in a half shrug, amused smile painted in his lips. “Jongdae did say you had a temper,” Minseok narrowed his eyes to the comment. “Chill, he asked me to keep you away from preying vipers until the trial starts, since this is your first time in court and everything...”

“Will it take long?” He asked and Kyungsoo shook his head.

“Fifteen minutes, give or take. Yixing and Junmyeon will probably go first since they got engaged first.”

Minseok hummed, not sure if he liked those arrangements. Kyungsoo was a stranger and friend to Jongdae, how could he be sure if he wasn’t the culprit? 

Damn, that boy was doing his best to piss him off. _Why the need to be social?_ Couldn’t he just stay indoors with just one or two friends? Apparently he needed to have a whole gang. For someone that said he wasn’t popular in court, he was doing an amazing job as a socialite.

“Since you are here, be a dear little birdie and tell me: Who are Jongdae’s friends?”

The question caught Kyungsoo off guard, thick eyebrows furrowing as he tilted his head and crossed his arms. “I don’t know if I would call it friends,” Kyungsoo started picking his words carefully. “In court relationships are more often than not political. Having friends means having a liability. Nonetheless, I would say your generation is a bit closer than the previous ones.”

“Don’t overcomplicate, I want names and faces,” Minseok rolled his eyes, tapping his foot.

“Lord Chanyeol of Olyana,” Kyungsoo whispered to him, eyes directing him to a tall man in a red robe. An intimidating appearance if he wasn’t cowering into himself and kicking the stones around his feet. He looked like an overgrown child that had lost his parents… 

“Next.”

“Well, me.”

“No one else?”

“No. Again, he has nice relationships with some people but they are not friends… Even Chanyeol is a recent addition,” Kyungsoo confessed while rubbing the back of his neck with his head down. “He usually hangs out more with Lord Jongin and Lord Sehun…”

_Useless information then._

Kyungsoo, trying to avoid the awkward silence between them, directed Minseok to their seat around where the trial should be. The chosen place was simple: a small spot of green grass right by the riverbank, far enough to allow the chairs to be put in a full circle with a generous space between them but close enough for them to feel the soothing breeze from the river. If it wasn’t for the chairs, Minseok would probably have missed the flower ring on the ground made of a mix of green gladiolus, white lilies and blue irises with translucent crystals in between them. 

Minseok pointed out to Kyungsoo, questioning their meaning. He knew they were their house’s colours but why use flowers and crystals? 

“The first trial is about natural energy, the type that flows from the earth into our bodies. Those flowers and crystals were cleansed and blessed by moonlight, they will help keep the circle pure from your energies and keep them directed to the main crystal. That way there isn’t any chance that your feelings over the arrangement will affect the trial.”

_What if the darkness walked in with one of them? Would it filter it?_

As a seasonal God, Minseok knew better than anyone how powerful the earth's energy could be: Everything grew, died and was reborn from that energy; Soils eternally fed by the sun and the moon; plants carrying in their leaves the most powerful of magics. But could they have redirected their energy correctly? People that had ban magic just to follow this mirror image, magick. 

Well done, a simple circle could probably chase away Jongdae’s extra shadow back to his owner for a few seconds, maybe minutes… either way it would be enough time for Minseok to get a clue. Had it not, Jongdae would most likely lose this trial and there was nothing Minseok could do about it — at least, nothing he wanted to do about it, his memories would be worth the risk. Now, he only needed to sit back and… _Well pray I guess._


	5. Blind

_Take it easy,_ Jongdae reminded himself, bottom lip stuck between his teeth as he watched Yixing and Junmyeon’ crystal shine not even five minutes after they sat inside the circle.

They looked perfect, serene smiles filling their faces when they lifted themself from the ground to bow for the people around them. And according to the crystal given to them, they were a perfect match. 

“They are starting to piss me off,” Baekhyun whispered into his ear with a teasing smile. “Wouldn’t be surprised if the sun shined out of their arses.”

“Don’t be mean, some marriages have to work.”

“Yeah, but why overdo it? I feel like I’m back in school, going against the genius kids.”

“As if you were even in the top 10 students,” Jongdae mocked, lightly pushing Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Auch, my love, my ego was killed by those evil words…” he pouted, dramatically pressing the back of his left hand on his forehead as he closed his eyes. “ I think only a kiss will make it better.”

The prince could only laugh when Baekhyun pushed his lips in his direction, before pinching them between his nails. “Hush, will you? I will not engage in childish behaviours, just so you can steal their spotlight.” Baekhyun whined and Jongdae let go of his lips. “Behave.” 

Contrary to what he expected, once their names got called out, Baekhyun did behave, offering Jongdae his arm so they could walk into the circle together. A small meaningless gesture that reminded Jongdae of why he chose to give a chance to Baekhyun in the last weeks.

_‘Love or no love, this is you and me. Now and probably forever.’_

Those words Baekhyun confessed to him over tea on their first day as fiancés still stood in his mind. Even with a God around, it was them against the world and, if he had to choose someone to guard his back, Jongdae would pick Baekhyun. The man was proving to be as brave and loyal as he was juvenile, reckless and pervy, traits he could easily overlook in their marriage if necessary.

Baekhyun helped him sit down, holding his cape to avoid it getting caught under Jongdae’s body and, taking his seat, offered his hands again. Jongdae took them, smiling at him while the servants brought them the chosen crystal for their trial. 

_Amethyst,_ Jongdae recognized, chest filling with hope and confidence. Spiritually they were somewhat similar, they could do it! They could make the crystal shine… at least a little bit, and from the flames in Baekhyun’s eyes, he agreed. 

The stone was placed between their arms and from there on, it was up to them to do the rest. Tightening his hold on the other’s hands, he tried to push his feelings out. No hiding nor holding back the bad moments — they were part of him and part of their story together. Baekhyun caught his attention because he was different just like Jongdae, he struggled to accept the end of his freedom but in a few shared moments Baekhyun made him see that not all of that was bad.

_“Why the need to wake up so early?” He whined, picking up the words Baekhyun forced him._

_“You need to train and honestly, I can’t wait to see you falling on your little fluffy ass,” Baekhyun laughed._

_“You wish!”_

In the early hours of the morning, between strange matches of a sport Baekhyun called fencing, he made a friend. An ally that decided to show him all the new things his people had to offer, to find a space for him in his life and routine while Jongdae wanted to offer him a piece of home. Yet, what in the beginning was a simple friendship, soon became something more. Something Jongdae held dear in his heart as Baekhyun had made and taken that spot only for himself.

_“Stop crying… Come on, you are a prince, get up!” Baekhyun reminded him after a particularly difficult match. He thought he could win this one._

_“Why? I’m tired of losing…”_

_“Yah!” Baekhyun screamed, making Jongdae look up at him,” Is it hurting?”_

_“What?”_

_“Anything.” Jongdae hesitated but nodded anyway. “If it’s hurting then you are still living. If you are alive, you fight for what you want.”_

_A mentor_.

Baekhyun was a tower standing behind him to hold him up when his feet failed him in the last few weeks. The strength he didn’t have to live lightly while duty pulled him down. 

Closing his eyes, Jongdae visualizes pushing those emotions toward the crystal in the form of water, showering it with mixed emotions and confidence. Confidence in their friendship, their compatibility, their union. They were far from being a perfect match such as Yixing and Junmyeon, but, deep in his heart, Jongdae knew they were a good match. 

_We can meet in the middle._

A loud crack, followed by a choir of gasps, forced his eyes open as Baekhyun let go of his hands. _What?_

In front of them stood the broken crystal, little pieces scattered all around the circle. How? Why? He couldn't comprehend nor could he process what he was seeing. How could they have failed? This was the one trial he was sure they could easily pass.

The eyes, the whispers…. they were on him, about him, choking and punching the air out of his lungs. _Run and hide_ , his brain told him and his legs moved before anyone could stop him. There were voices, familiar voices, calling for him, begging him to stop running, but those became echoes as his legs ran without a destination; long cloak lost in the wind somewhere along the way that he didn’t bother to stop and look. 

Where he ran, it didn’t matter.

Nothing did. 

Not when his chest was heavy with a tingling feeling — it wasn’t pain nor was it sadness, was numbness. _Hopelessness._

What now? His father would probably talk with him, reassure a marriage he knows that won’t go anywhere, failing or passing, he will marry Baekhyun, but now… If they fail the next two trials, no one will take their marriage seriously. They will gossip about them, about how their marriage will fail at one point or another and one thing is they, him and Baekhyun, knowing there wasn’t any connection between them except respect and friendship, however not even the Gods seem to think they can be a good team. 

_I can’t catch a break._

Good, bad. Long, short. It all ended up disappearing from his life and for a moment Jongdae wondered if maybe he was the one at fault. If, unlike the tale of Midas, his hands turned everything into ruins. Would Minseok also leave at some point? Probably, the God had no business in staying in his life for more than necessary.

Why couldn’t he be more like Yixing? More… perfect.

“At this rate, you will get yourself killed, Snowflake,” a comforting voice pulled him from his mind as a thick cloak was laid over his shoulders.

Jongdae blinked the white blindness away, eyes taking in his surroundings: the silver garden and, standing by his side, Minseok. He fit right in with the garden, snowy skin glowing as perfectly as the sun-kissed snow below their feet and icy blue eyes looking the bluest they had ever been. If only it wasn’t for the concern within them, they would look like something out of a dream, but their question stayed no matter how hard Jongdae tried to wish it away.

“I’m fine..” Jongdae whispered, turning his back at Minseok. 

He waited, expecting something, but Minseok didn’t say anything. Instead, Jongdae only heard his movements, curiosity winning when he looked back to find the God filling in the snowy grass. 

“What? You said you were fine. I’m not going to press it…” 

“Why did you follow me, then?”

“Your brother wanted to come, Baekhyun wanted to come… But both had to do some damage control, I decided to step in,” Jongdae nodded to his words, carefully taking a seat by his side. “What is this place anyway?”

“Don’t know, I call it ‘Silver garden’. No matter the season, it’s always winter here. You may like it in here,” Jongdae forced a smile while looking at Minseok, but the other didn’t smile back, frowning deep as his hands felt the ground.

The emotions, the grief that filled the roots of those plants was an overwhelming force that Minseok couldn’t put into words. At first, it came as a soft lullaby, whispers that he could turn off if he wanted to, but the song got louder in his head. Words telling a tale of misery and pure sadness.

“I… What happened where?”

“Nothing?” Jongdae said not too sure of his words, head tilting a bit as he observed Minseok’s movements.

 _Impossible_ , Minseok thought to himself. The wise tree kept whispering to him, a mother blinded by faith, an innocent child whose blood slipped onto his roots… A corrupted force imprisoned in his roots that was awakened by its purity. 

_She fell as he awoke,_

_Blood turned into water that fed us all._

_Under the God’s rage,_

_The child was baptized in blood._

Minseok lifted himself up, eyes fixed on his mother’s statue as he took large steps in its direction. “Who is she to you?”

“My mother… She ran away when I was a baby.”

Jongdae watched Minseok opening his mouth, lips forming words that he ended up cutting short as if he was looking for the right words before looking at Jongdae with pity. 

How could he say it? How could he take this bad day and make it worse when partly it was his fault? No. He wouldn’t do that. Jongdae didn’t need to know how his mother’s body was just below them or how her body was feeding his temple to the point of manifesting his power in the small garden around them.

“Do you know anything about her?”

Shooking his head, Jongdae hugged his knees. ”The basics only. She was a Kim, blue eyes and blond hair, talented in the arts and very religious. My father told me she was kind and loving.”

“I see you took after her, snowflake…” Minseok smiled, hand laying on Jongdae’s knee. “When did Yixing come along?”

“Two years later. Father had to remarry — the whole ‘an heir and a spare’ thing and civil war was at the door because of me so yeah. He married a lady from house Park, but I never got to meet her, she died at birth.”

“At least you got a brother… I…” He hesitated for a moment, eyes looking down. “I miss my brothers, they made everything better…”

“You were also the oldest weren’t you?” Jongdae questioned, smiling at Minseok’s surprise. “Daked still follows some of the Old Gods. Baekhyun told me a few things about you when we talked about his religion…”

Minseok hummed, slowly nodding. _Byun just had to be my follower…_ “I’m afraid I can’t tell you much more than him. I don’t remember anything from before, I don’t even remember recreating your people, but I know we did,” he admitted for the first time.

Somehow he expected a reaction from Jongdae, maybe some screams about trust or a hurt look in his eyes. Why did he expect such things? The mortal would never show him his true emotions — he didn’t feel in the right to do so. Who was he to expect anything from a God? 

“It’s okay…” the prince reassured him with a small smile.” We can search together for answers. Baekhyun may know a few more things, he can help you remember.”

“You are kind but I doubt he has the answers for my questions. A mere mortal can not know where the Gods went to sleep eternity away.”

“Was that what you were doing when I found you? Waiting for death to come?”

Minseok sighed, pulling his hair back as he searched for an answer. “I don’t know. Gods don’t die, we get tired or someone comes to take our place as we did with the ones before us. But I didn’t change, I don’t feel it at least and I wasn’t tired… It was a different feeling.”

_Fatigue as if I had been holding something back. Anger. Confusion._

Seeing the conflict in his face, Jongdae touched his face. A touch light enough to call his attention. “Don’t. There are words we must not chase… When the time is right, they will come to you.”

Words could be hard, he knew it better than anyone else. They run away from your tongue when you most need them, they can play tricks around your head only to put you in an early grave of misery and misunderstanding, but silence is always a blessing. Minseok needed time to find his words in his own head, to find the self he lost somewhere along the line and Jongdae was more than willing to give him time even if words could become a storm.

No one can stop them nor control them when it reaches a breaking point; They can’t be held back because the inevitable will always find a way around the mortals’ will. And sometimes, a delayed storm only brought more chaos for it became a ticking bomb — every minute, every second leading to one final scene, the big climax… curtains opening to show the main dance only for no one to notice the shaking chandelier over their heads. 

At the moment, they were pushing their storm deeper within them, forcing it into a knot at the bottom of their throats, somewhere that no one but a slipped mistake could force out.

“We should go back…” 

“Are you sure? Their venom will be at its peak,” Minseok cautioned with worried eyes.

Jongdae nodded anyway. “I must or Baekhyun will have to face them alone…” He looked back into Minseok’s eyes, a glimpse of hope shining through them. “Will you stand by me?”

“Only if you got my back,” Minseok smiled. “Your costumes are still rather strange to me…”

 _I shall be your tower for as long as you need me…_ Jongdae promised to himself, offering his hand to the oldest.

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Around and around the bodies danced. Shiny gowns spinning between strangers' arms while others tried to search for salvation in the expensive liquor and empty conversations. 

Those people were so strange. They danced strange dances, trusting in the arms of strangers that most of the time Minseok could feel how much they hated for nothing more than the colour they proudly wore and yet they still smiled because ‘it’s expected that much’.

“I don’t get it…” Minseok told Jongdae for the nth time.

“Look, every family believes they are above the others. Every word traded, every move they make and every marriage agreement is because they are after something… There is no space for love or friendship because unnecessary feelings can lead to one losing their status as an heir.”

“Yes, I understand greed but if they want status and power, should they try to court you?”

Jongdae picked up another glass of liquor, tasting it while he tried to find the right words to explain it. “I scare them, the thought of my eyes and hair being a dominant trait would lead to their family’s genes to go unnoticed on future heirs,” he shrugged. “That and the whole curse thing of course.”

He hated the way Jongdae looked down with his words, how his body stood straight as if dark emotions weren’t growing in his heart. Those people were the monsters! Not him… Did Jongdae even understand how powerful he was just by having Minseok as his ally? No, _because he never would ask to use my power as his._

“Jong—” “Long time no see,” Baekhyun’s voice interrupted him. Minseok looked around the pillar as Jongdae tilted his head in confusion.

“And still it was too short…”

“Chanyeol?” Jongdae whispered to Minseok as the other signed him to stay quiet.

“Can we talk? I… I just wanted to know how you are…” Minseok couldn’t see them, but from his voice, Baekhyun sounded so small and almost fragile.

“I’m great, family’s business going great, great suiter, so… yeah I’m just great.”

“Oh, you found a suiter... Yeah, that is great…”

 _One more great and I may actually kill them for misery,_ Minseok rolled his eyes. 

“Congratulations on the engagement by the way. Your father must be over the moon… You marrying an outsider was out of question but a prince is what he must see as a jackpot”

“It’s still you,” Baekhyun said, voice filled with confidence. 

“What are you two doing?” A cheeky voice wandered over Minseok’s ear, making them both jump at the thought of being caught spying.

“Yixing…” Jongdae smiled trying to ignore his brother’s knowing grin as he looked over to Minseok. “We were just... “ 

“Eavesdropping?” 

“No!” 

“Sure dear,” Yixing laughed, pulling Jongdae’s hand. “I’m sorry Minseok, but I’m taking him for a dance. Junmeyon’s old bones bag can’t keep up with me and father still thinks you are missing, so...”

“Yes, I got the idea,” he turned to Minseok with an apologetic smile. “Will you be fine?”

Minseok smiled, a bit of amusement present in his teasing smile. “Don’t worry, I will play nice.”

Obviously, he had no love for Jongdae’s people as he had made very clear countless times before, but he wasn’t lying. At the moment, there were other thoughts in his head. Was Chanyeol the one Baekhyun had told him about? If so, why propose to Jongdae… He would have known his lover would be there to see it all in the front row. 

_A stupid move_ , he shook his head taking another glass from a passing waiter. _No, a mortal move_. The foolish little brat wanted to see him, didn’t he? He had said so himself. _Ugh, selfish little creatures._ Had he even stopped to think about how his ex-lover would react to it? To take the other’s feelings into account before making a bold move that would put him between heartbreak and loyalty to his prince? 

_Disgusting selfish little dirt creatures._

_Since when do you even care? You too fell into their selfish ways, didn’t you?_ , his mind reminded him, fingers tightening around the crystal glass. Given the chance, he too chose to be selfish, to put his manhunt above Jongdae’s safety… Luckily nothing came from it, the shadows around him didn’t shake nor did they grow, as hope and kindness still shined through his eyes. Even now, in a room full of people, Minseok could see Jongdae’s aura shining the brightest as he was spinning around the ballroom with his brother, laughter echoing over the soft ballad being played every time they failed a step because of their silliness. There wasn’t any moonlight that could overshadow him, not when that pure beacon of light was all the god needed to admire to fill his chest with peace and guilt...

Once again, Minseok shook his head, trying to push those thoughts to a dark corner of his mind. 

_He is just another mortal with a bit of bad luck. When did I start caring?_

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“Never again,” Minseok swore, “never again am I going to one of those balls.”

“They aren’t that bad, don’t be overdramatic. That is my job!” Jongdae rolled his eyes, fork playing around with his eggs as he searched for the will to eat after drinking a bit too much in the past night.

“You left me! You didn’t see how those drunken — I don’t even know what to call them — tried to touch me!” He whined, laying his head over his arms on the table. Disgusting mortals, had he been alone with them they would have lost their hands...

Yixing hit his head with his open palm. “Sit straight, that is no way of being at a table.” Growl stuck on his throat, Minseok pushed himself back into his chair, head falling over the back of the chair. “They probably found you handsome.” 

“Handsome?”

“In a very ‘Oh daddy please kill me and bury me in the woods’ type of way,” Baekhyun added and Minseok could hear the smirk in his tone. “You have that special murder’ charm.”

Minseok rolled his head, resting it over his shoulder as he threw knives at Baekhyun with his eyes. “Wanna be the first to come for a ride, Byun? It would be a pleasure to bite your neck off.”

“Oh, kinky!” Baekhyun moaned, tongue pressing over his teeth. “You really know how to leave a man all hot and bothered.”

“You li—” “Enough,” Jongdae cut him, fingers pressing over his temples. “If I wanted to deal with children, I would have already adopted some.” 

“He started!” Minseok accused, pointing a finger to Baekhyun, which was another no-no as Yixing hit him with his fork. 

“Pointing is ugly, have some manners. Was he raised in a barn?” Yixing questioned looking at his fiancé that suddenly found himself fascinated by the bottom of his cup.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jongdae shook his head and sighed. “Brother, could you teach him how to dance today? The next trial is celebrated with a group dance and I doubt he is familiar with those dances…” Minseok rolled his eyes.

 _He speaks as if I’m a fool._ “Will be my pleasure, but you need to listen to me all the time… Those dances are a tradition, nothing can be done a second too late or too soon so I will need your full attention!” 

Turning to Jongdae with big eyes, Minseok silently begged him to save him from what was about to become a very painful day. “Don’t!” Jongdae cut him with a raised hand, shielding himself from the image of Minseok’s big eyes. “It’s only necessary and you know it… _Do it for me, please,_ ” the prince pleaded with him in a whisper.

“Why can’t it be you teaching me?” Minseok whined. Surely, Jongdae would be nicer than that brother of his… and at least he could play the God card with him.

“Maybe because you are too much of a pain in the ass to teach,” Baekhyun mocked him, leaning on his palm.

“Actually, I already have a pain in the ass to teach,” Jongdae offered his explanation, lightly pulling Baekhyun’s ear.

“Me?! But I know the dances!”

“No, you don’t. The grooms' dance is difference and, after the last disaster, we need all the training we can possibly get — we can’t fuck up dancing okay?” Jongdae pointed at him, shaking his head with wide eyes. “We just can’t!

 _Nevermind,_ Minseok thought leaning on the table while he looked at the flames in Jongdae’s eyes directed to Baekhyun. _Craziness probably runs in the family…_

“No elbows on the table!” Yixing reprimanded hitting the back of his head. Minseok growled, not at Yixing since that would probably earn him another slap, but that the hairless monkey that had the nerve to laugh at him once again. 

Jongdae wasn’t that surprised when Baekhyun found himself whining with his tongue frozen to his morning coffee but at that moment, he was damn sure the Gods were testing him for his patience…

Still, he had other things to think at the moment. Taking Baekhyun’s condition as an opening, Jongdae grabbed his arms to walk him back to the kitchen; an angry look telling Minseok to undo it because he _needed_ his fiancé to have an actual tongue for the conversation they needed to have. 

Thanks to pure luck, Baekhyun was a smart one — Jongdae knew he knew something was up with Minseok; Contrary to how he behaved on the daily, he was far from being a fool, Baekhyun was just smart enough to know not to ask questions that would raise chaos and lead to nothing but mistrust between them. There were always enough walls between them, secrets and stories neither wanted to share in the near future and, if not even the circumstances, Jongdae would have never even thought about confronting Baekhyun about the conversations they heard in the ball. Some secrets were just too dangerous to be left in the air.

“I’m guessing you didn’t guide me to the gardens for a romantic getaway…” 

“Sorry,” Jongdae shook his head, wrapping his arm around Baekhyun’s. “We need to talk.”

Baekhyun arched his eyebrows, lips curling in amusement. “Is this the part where you tell me you are going to run away with your guard dog?”

“No,” he laughed, “but we did hear something on the ball that we shouldn’t have…” Baekhyun nodded, licking over his lips as he looked at the flowers around them.

“I thought I had imagined it, but it really was you two…”

“I’m sorry…”

“No,” he shook his head, resting his hand above Jongdae’s. “It’s fine. What do you wanna know?”

“Do you love him?”

“Eternally, I’m afraid.” 

“Why me then? Why our kingdom?” Jongdae asked, no accusation or resentment in his voice.

“I need to prove my father wrong and living a life without so much as seeing him would drive me crazy…” Baekhyun explained, “I’m sorry, I thought we could be lonely together. Love was never in the picture even if I do flirt a lot, but I never intended on cheating on you or leaving you. I vow to stand by you!”

“Don’t be stupid,” Jongdae laughed, lightly pushing his shoulder against Baekhyun’s. “I don’t doubt you, my only wish is to understand you. Why not propose to him?”

“The Parks were regular visitors in my father’s land. He knows them and he already made himself clear about how much he hated the thought of us two together,” the words left his lips with a taste of bittersweetness that even Jongdae could feel but what caught his attention was the hand the oldest took to his scar.

“Was it your father’s doing?”

“Yes, on the night I was meant to run away with him… We were going to elope together until my father found me and gave me this with one of the sacred swords of our family. _You shall not shame our family’s name, boy_ , he told me...as if being in love was that wrong.”

 _It wasn’t magic then._ “Your father doesn’t have eyes here…”

“He is better without me holding him back and I saw his eyes, they are full of hatred.”

Jongdae shook his head. “I don’t think so. And, for what it’s worth, if it is with him, I don’t mind knowing you have a lover. Love is something I never got to feel so I can only imagine the pain you carry in your heart.”

“It’s a burden I’m happy to carry…” Baekhyun stopped walking for a moment, turning to look Jongdae in the eyes. “Did I ever tell you my favourite bedtime story?”

“No, but I will be happy to hear it,” Jongdae smiled as Baekhyun nodded.

“Once upon a time, when the Gods lived above and only animals roamed the earth, a golden star fell from the sky. Animals reunited around it while plants whispered and pulled their roots to see it, to feel its shine and beauty,” Baekhyun narrated, pulling Jongdae to sit with him on the grass. “ _‘Poor thing’,_ they mumbled as the star lost its glow as a day became two and soon it became a month. The monkeys tried to cuddle it, to keep it warm, others brought leaves to make it into a blanket, but nothing was enough… So one day, the parrot called to the Gods. _‘Take it back’,_ he begged. They didn’t want to see it die but no one came.”

“Every day, he begged and the animals cried around him, until one God heard him. He wasn’t kind nor was he cruel, but he couldn’t bear anymore crying, so he picked up the star and put it in a little box. _‘I can’t take it back, but I shall offer it to my loneliest brother_ — _He shall give it a home’_ , he promised to the animals.”

“Did he?” Jongdae wondered immersed in the story.

“He did. His brother took the star as if it was his most precious treasure and kept it in the flames that he fed with his affection. Every day, the lonely God would whisper to the star his adoration, promising a better life, one where it would be able to walk and run between the animals that once took care of it. The star loved him for that, for his heat and the promises, it wanted to go back to the animals, to its family.”

“It took him years, but every night the God took a bit of dirt from the earth and moulded a body for the star, one at his own image but with an empty chest and empty eyes. _‘Why don’t you give me pretty eyes?’,_ the star wondered. _‘I want to see you every time I look into your eyes. The real you, my little fallen star’._ Painfully, the God moulded the star into a heart and placed it inside of the dirt, his flame turning it to clay and from clay into flesh. How lovely his little star was with his golden eyes and the star couldn’t believe it. He could feel things, touch them, move on his own will and the God took his time teaching him how to talk, walk, dance when no music could be heard… He taught the star how to shine on his own before allowing him to go back to earth. ”

“The star for the first time in a long time had everything he needed for the God even gave him his own kind so he wouldn’t become lonely with time. But not all the Gods were happy about it — one of his brothers didn’t like how they messed up with the time of animals and plants, feeding themselves with it. Time wasn’t a forgiving God. And while the lonely God slept, every night he came into earth and took a bit of their youth, until finally time came for his little star to leave the living…” Jongdae tightened his hand around Baekhyun’s arm, feeling it couldn’t have a happy ending.

“Terrorize at finding his only love in the realm of the dead, the lonely God, took his heart — the seed of his soul — and wrapped a thin strand of his hair around it before sending the little star into the river of souls. Part of his mortality given to a fallen star that should never meet real death nor loneliness, for a God would always be looking down for him at every new life the little star lived.” 

“After that day,” Baekhyun smiled, rubbing circles with his thumb in the back of Jongdae’s hand, “The lonely God broke every star in half, except his own, for that way they would never know true loneliness — when one half faded to time, the other would follow it to the river of souls, being born together again in their next time… The price was their eyes, that no longer hold the gold of their heart, but that way, the God would forever know who was his star from the moment their eyes met…”

“It—” Jongdae shallow around the knot on his throat,” It’s a very sad story.”

“Do you think so? I always say it as a beautiful love story. As far as we know, the God found his star again and all of the fallen stars will eventually find their half in one of their many lives.”

Jongdae pondered on Baekhyun’s words, before offering him a smile. “Is Chanyeol yours?”

“I would say so.”

“How is it? Being in love? How do you even know for sure he is the one?”

“You can never be sure, but… I miss him all the time, my chest gets tighter every time I see him but at the same time, I feel calmer because I can see his smile. Nothing matters at those moments,” Baekhyun smiled.” When he is happy, I am happy. When he cries, I want to take him away from the world… But above all, I know you know you are in love when you are alone with that person, when the silence feels like home and the world's stops just for that moment…”

“Sounds amazing.”

“It is amazing…” There was a moment of silence before Baekhyun found the courage to say what he needed. “Jongdae, you should look more at your guard dog… I wouldn’t hate it if it was him, your other half.”

Jongdae laughed at those silly words.

 _A God doesn’t have a star heart._ “Let’s wait and see, shall we?”

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

Dancing with Yixing was, as expected, a living nightmare. 

Yes, he was nice.

Yes, he was a very cute person when he was dealing with Jongdae. 

But he definitely was part demon. Minseok could only look and pray at himself when the mortal went ballistic over Minseok's lack of rhythm or when he just didn’t look in the right direction. Who the hell did a dance that requires looking in one specific direction? It didn’t make sense! 

Everything about it was annoying. The jumping around, the trading partners, the bowing and spinning and jumping again… His head was spinning more than the orbs above his brother’s throne and Luhan always made them spin way too fast when he got angry. He needed to sit and turn Yixing’s voice off for a moment.

“Can we take a break?”

“No, we have a week until the ball and then you can’t just ask for a break. You must practice until your feet are bleeding if necessary!”

“It doesn’t even make sense!” 

Yixing sighed, putting a hand in Minseok’s shoulder. “Listen, this trial is crucial for them and it’s easier even if it asks more of their bodies.”

“It’s a stupid dance, how is that even a trial?” Minseok rolled his eyes, taking Yixing from his shoulder as he fell to the ground to rest for a moment.

“It’s more than a stupid dance, Minseok,” Junmeyon assured, arm wrapping itself around Yixing’s waist. “In that moment, we have to give our best, to push and push beyond your limits to have every movement right until the flame goes off. The people around us… They may not look like a necessary detail but they are, their movements offer energy and wish for a bright future as a couple.”

“Sounds like bullshit but go on.”

“Maybe it is,” Yixing shrugged. “Maybe it always is a big bullshit, but those are our traditions.”

“Actually,” Junmyeon added looking at Yixing,” this one isn’t,” faced with confused looks, he explained. “It came from the old elves. Before their weddings, offerings were made and burned to the Gods, they used to dance around the fire, watching the smoke go up and dissolve itself, while waiting for a God to bless their union by extinguishing the fire.”

Minseok listened with curiosity. Fire was a big thing for the Gods, a portal one may call it, between the mortal and the celestial/divine. The image painted by Junmyeon didn’t sound strange to him, it was something he and his brothers did when they lived in the mortal realm, before the wars with the celestials, so imagining their creations doing the same wasn’t that strange. But why keep it? It was the Gods doing when the fire went out, now it was up to luck.

“Good for them, you misuse a tradition that once had a religious meaning and use it to judge matches made by yourselves, so your point is?”

Junmyeon rolled his eyes, flicking Minseok’s forehead. “It may be just in your heads but that is all that is necessary because it’s a part of our history and culture, you brat.”

“I’m older than you!” 

“Take a break,” Junmyeon said ignoring his gasping fiancé. “Maybe Jongdae and Baekhyun will be back by the time you come back and everything will be easier.”

“Easier?”

“Yes, at least with Jongdae around you go back to a tolerable man-child.”

 _Slander!_ He knew how to behave himself without the little prince around. Those things weren’t that complicated… They were just boring! Was it that bad that he prefered to be reading or just hanging out with Jongdae around the castle? Even pissing Baekhyun off was funnier than to be slowly tortured with dance.

“Who is a man-child?” 

“Jongdae!” Minseok called from the floor, pointing at Yixing. “He is mistreating me!”

“And he is being even more of a whiny baby than you!”

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not!”

“Yeah, I’m not doing this. Take him, teach him. Whatever, I’m done with him.”

“Xing…” Jongdae tried, but his brother was already out of the door with his fiancé. _Should have gone earlier._ “How did you manage to piss him off?”

“More like wore him out…”

“Not helping Baek…”

“I did nothing! He is too picky over this whole dancing thing.”

Pressing his temple, Jongdae looked at Minseok. “It’s a traditional dance, he NEEDS to be picky!”

“But I—” “No, no ‘buts’. This isn’t optional!” “But—” “No!”

“Dear Gods, just let the man speak Jongdae,” Jongdae rolled his eyes at Baekhyun’s words.

“Thanks…” Minseok said to Baekhyun as he got up. “I just don’t get it okay? There is no meaning to the movements, no reason to why I should do this or that… Everything is so fast and so… meaningless.”

“Okay,” Jongdae nodded and offered his hand. “Come, dance with me.”

“You see, I was on my break, can we do it la—”

“Don’t test me or I will kick your godly ass…” Jongdae whispered, pulling Minseok’s arm for him to stand closer.

“Would love to see you try…”

“Shh… Just copy me..” Jongdae sighed, bowing to Minseok. “Now, raise your arm, step to the side and look over as if you saw a butterfly. Slowly and gently, switch the arm and turn in the other direction stepping twice in light steps... “ Minseok followed his directions, a bit too roughly. “Imagine the butterfly flying up and try to offer it your hand to land… Do a semi-circle with your hand as if it landed and then offer your hand to the person in front of you.”

Without thinking, Minseok did exactly as asked, pulling Jongdae to him when the prince took his hand. “Nice, a bit rough around the edges and you need to memorize it, but not bad… After the intro, just guide the hand of your partner up and to the side,” Jongdae explained, guiding their hands as Minseok focused on his profile. “It’s preferable to look at your partner in the…” he turned, noticing Minseok’s heavy glance on him, “eyes.”

“And then?” Minseok asked, smile growing as he took in the shades of red adorning Jongdae’s cheeks and ears when the other looked away.

“Switch sides with them. Slice your arm down as you step back and try to keep your fingers connected to your partner as long as possible… Then just step to the side and do it again with the next partner…”

“What if I don’t like my partner?”

“You dance anyway....”

“Always good to see your politics are the same in dances and marriages.”

Jongdae took in a sharp breath before turning to Minseok with angry eyes. “Around and around we go just to go back to the same. I told you yesterday, it’s my duty.”

“Your fiancé knows love, yet you are doomed to a life that will keep that from you… I just don’t find it fair.”

“It’s politics, most of the time it isn’t fair. Now please… Just focus on the dance.”

“As you wish, snowflake…”

“Don’t call me that here,” Jongdae cringed, frowning at Minseok.

“Yesterday you didn’t mind.”

“I was sad!”

“Whatever. It’s mortal or snowflake, take your pick.”

“Snowflake…”

“Good choice,” Minseok laughed, stepping back from Jongdae. “Now, for real, my legs are killing me.”

“Go rest, I need to train with Baekhyun, but we will meet you in an hour?” Jongdae suggested, looking over at Baekhyun for a suggestion.

“We could go to the town, they are also celebrating.”

“Fine, see you in a bit, I guess.”

It was fine. An hour is enough for a bath and a nap. More than fine.

_So why does my stomach feel so strange?_

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

_He has sad eyes,_ Jongdae thought to himself as his feet moved on their own along, allowing Baekhyun to guide their moves. _Why didn’t I see it before? How didn’t I see it?_

Minseok had shared with him about his lost memories, but it wasn’t the only secret heaving on his heart. Those ice-cold eyes held more than just the colours of thousands winters, there was an emptiness… _A loneliness of someone who does not hold a star._


	6. Light

“Let me see if I got it,” Minseok said, looking at Jongdae as if he had grown another head. “Those people put together a festival — paid by them — during a full month just because you and your brother are both getting married? Am I getting that correctly?” 

“Yes, it’s their way of showing their support for the crown.”

Minseok tilted his head to his right, brows frowned and lips tightly pressed together. “Are they rich?”

“No, most of them barely got enough to feed their families and pay taxes.”

Looking around at the streets covered in bright colours and filled with small tents and people, Minseok would have never guessed how poor those people were. Some could be working on their tents selling anything from strange food to jewellery and baubles, but most of them were just walking around the streets in groups, laughing and dancing as carefree as birds. Not even their clothes showed any clue to what those people did for a living… How did one laugh while spending money they didn’t have?

“I can see you worrying over them,” Jongdae stopped in front of him with a smile. “Do I look like someone that would allow them to suffer for celebrating me?”

“No.”

“Exactly. They will not be paying taxes until the next season and I made sure every household received, well let’s call it an allowance to spend in the festival. Someone should get something good out of our marriages.”

Minseok smiled. How unbelievable could Jongdae be. “Great. I see games over there, show me how to play!” He demanded, trying to force his mind to skip the usual program of ‘Reasons Why Jongdae Is The Only Mortal With Rights”.

“I still think we could wait for Baekhyun…”

“He was the one telling us to go ahead. Give me all the attention for once!”

“You are way too high maintenance…” Jongdae mumbled, rolling his eyes and grabbed Minseok’s wrist. “Fine, let’s go then, I do feel like kicking your ass today.”

“For someone with a fragile mortality, you do like to bark,” Minseok mocked, allowing him to guide them between the narrow streets and stone roads, to the margin of the city where the trees grew higher than the building and underneath their shadow the game tents extended for as long as Minseok’s eyes could reach.

“I don’t bark, I bite. Now, to show you how much I care about your self-confidence, I will allow you to pick in which game I will beat you.”

“The little mortal is getting way too smug,” Minseok clicked his tongue. “That one!”

“Bow and arrow?” Jongdae asked with a smirk. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. I invented it!”

“Well, and I mastered it. Your point?”

Minseok almost growled at Jongdae’s boldness but, truly, what else was there to expect?

It was a simple game — hit a thing, get a thing, type of deal — nothing that his pride needed to win to feel superior. Back in the good old days, he and his brother used to spend their days hitting nuts or apples for entertainment, hitting an actual target would be too easy even with his eyes closed. But could Jongdae deal with losing? He had never played games with the prince to know how his temper is in competitions. Winning was worth it if it meant feeding the darkness within him.

“Don’t…” Jongdae scolded him as Minseok’s fingers brushed on the bow. “Don’t you even dare go easy on me! I can see the gears working in your mind, so don’t you fucking dare.”

“Sure,” Minseok snorted.

Of course, the little prince wanted him to give his best, to face him as equals and to be seen as a worthy adversary. Logically, Minseok would have given him just that without hesitating — Jongdae was capable, Minseok saw him as capable — so why the change of heart? _You already failed him once_ , his heart reminded him. If the roots of darkness got deeper, if anything inside Jongdae’s head changed after that day, if… if his pure heart got closer to be taken by shadows, that would be on him and a tiny voice in his head kept on repeating it, making Minseok questioning every movement, every decision. A slip could be enough to ruin a life. 

_Why do I even care?_ His memories were all that matter and yet… the moment that crystal broke, his mind was screaming at him to do something! _Anything…_ _because Jongdae was sad._ It was a fight within himself — the logical vs the illogical, which was the strongest? Which one is the positive and which one is the negative? Feeding the mind and gagging the heart, following the right road without obstacles, without _distractions_ but walking a cold road with no light along to bring spring wasn’t ideal of his lonely heart. However, listening to his heart, following Jongdae as a shield without no goal but his smile… How long could he do that without seeing beyond the line of friends? How could one live for the light without loving it too much?

No mortal nor immortal could.

Pushing and locking those thoughts to the darkest corner of his heart, Minseok tried to enjoy their day, to learn their games and to not get too hurt when Jongdae did kick his ass at most games, except goldfish scooping! That one he managed to win!

“You cheated…” Jongdae whined, pout in his lips.

“I did no such thing, I’m a God, we don’t cheat!”

“Bullshit! I saw you messing with the water!”

“Do I look like an unruly water God? Animals like me, deal with it!”

“Impossible, you are way too scary for that…” Jongdae mocked.

“Whatever, sore loser, what do we do now?” Minseok wondered, looking around them. It was getting late and Jongdae probably shouldn’t be out in the darkness. For a prince, a lot of danger could hide away in the shadows.

“We need to go home for dinner, but…” Jongdae bit his lips before looking up at Minseok, “could we just stay to see the fireworks? Junmyeon paid for another show for the people and I kind of lost the last one…”

Minseok hesitated for a moment, it was dangerous but Jongdae looked like a child who had never seen the stars. “Fine, but get us good spots or I’m leaving you on your own…”

“Deal!” Jongdae’s smile lighted up to his words, hand grabbing his hand as the mortal once again took control over their destiny.

_What a shame it was to the stars._

A single elf having the power to outshine them all with a simple smile. No magic, no charm, just… him, holding Minseok’s gaze as if he had been tricked by lighting and couldn’t possibly look away. He had no idea what those _fireworks_ thingies were but nothing in him cared if they kept that smile glowing. 

_No, stop it._

_His eyes will probably do that sparkly thing they do when he is excited…_

_Urg, just stop thinking of it,_ his brain told him once again. _He is engaged._

 _But he doesn’t love him,_ his heart reasoned _. You know it… I feel it, don’t you? That unexplainable pull and devotion…_

_Probably hunger. Get a roast turkey and you will be good to go._

_Love._

_Have priorities!_

_Could you both shut the hell up?_ Minseok shook his head trying to keep both sides of him in check and take in his surroundings. He didn’t know where Jongdae was taking him, but it was outside of the castle as they were walking around the outside walls that kept the city protected. This couldn’t possibly be safe, but from his body language Jongdae seemed to be awfully calm, maybe it was the fact that he was with a God or maybe he just trusted Minseok that much, either way, Minseok felt the need to be aware of every shadow around them, counting them one by one as they walked up a hill.

“Is this where you try to kill me?”

“No, just walk.”

“You should carry me, these godly legs weren’t made for walking.”

“But mine were made for kicking, will you walk without whining before I need to use them?”

Minseok stopped for a moment, pretending to think about it, before a smirk grew on his lips. ”Then you would be forced to carry me, sounds like I would get the best out of it.”

“Never said I would kick your legs…” Jongdae added, walking past him without even looking back to see Minseok’s reaction.

“Those balls are holy! You wouldn’t dare!”

“Walk.”

Finally after being tortured for a good fifteen minutes, Minseok would guess, they finally got to a small open field at the top of the hill. There wasn’t anything special about it, no field full of flowers, no fireflies flying around… just a plain and almost boring simple field that had a great view of the city and an open view to the sky.

Jongdae didn’t take too much time to get himself set on the grass, patting at the space next for Minseok to sit. 

“I know it isn’t special, but I wanted us to have a good view… Yixing said it lights up the sky with colours but the city is already so full of it, I thought searching for darkness would make for a better show.”

“Someone wise would avoid the shadows, snowflake…”

“Someone enlightened would walk through them to see their true colour,” Jongdae replied, laying back into the grass. “It may sound crazy, but I feel at home here — at the point no light can reach.”

“Highly doubt that, don’t you enjoy it when the sun kisses your skin? When it fills your home with warmth?” Minseok questioned, clicking his tongue as he sat down. “People enjoy the security of not being seen, not the darkness.”

“Loving the stars doesn’t stop you from loving the sky in which they lay. Light and darkness are both parts of the balance of the universe… I love the sun but I do not fear the silence and fragility that the darkness offers. I’m mortal, a mere elf that was lucky enough to be born with a title, but I’m not a coward.”

Minseok could feel Jongdae’s eyes on him. Uncaring, he chose to lay back, hand resting on the back of his head to stop it from hitting the grass. “You talk like one of my brothers, “ Minseok sighed. “He, too, was foolish — Always walking the tightrope of the universe, mediating every conflict we had between us and telling us it was all about give and take.”

“Give and take?” Jongdae asked confused, turning his body to lay on the side, eyes focused on Minseok and cheek resting on the back of his hands.

“An eye of an eye, that was his rule for everything. It wasn’t about being kind or mean, it was justice, so no one could end up with open wounds and break us apart, after all… we were the only family we had.”

“How many brothers did you have?”

“Ten.”

“Do you miss them?”

 _Yes._ “Sometimes…. They weren’t great, Gods never are, but I didn’t hate them. Some were kind and even if the others weren’t, no one can’t be mad for an eternity,” Minseok turned to meet Jongdae’s gaze. “I miss them the most when I see you with Yixing. I had brothers that cared for me like that, they came to visit, kept me warm when I still couldn’t control the winter and, long before that, I saw how every single one of them was created… It’s strange to not see them; not feeling them — Not knowing what even happened to them…”

Every link, every little tie of soul that he pulled only met silence. Every voice that once he had dreamed of turning off, now completely mute. Minseok was man enough to admit it was scary, to be completely alone in a world he didn’t know, dealing with something that was playing with strings he couldn’t see.

Life wasn’t a path he was meant to walk alone. Minseok had never been the smartest or the wisest of his brothers, their work as a unit kept the balance and standing alone in front of a blinding fog was as if a part of himself was being pulled and gagged into a corner of his mind. Powers he couldn’t use without questioning their effect; deep inside him, he knew it was all his own doing, insecurity and fear talking over reason for part of him told him it was okay to use his powers if he made the right offering to balance it, but the price was too high to take that risk. 

“I envy you,” Jongdae admitted with a tired sighed. “Had I lost Yixing, I doubt I would have found the strength to go on. Even with him at my side, I fear every step, every movement… Keeping bad thoughts away is so hard, you know? There are days where I can only think ‘ _Why deal with this? I could hurt them back, punish them for their words”_ , but then I see my brother there… giving me his best smile and couldn’t ever disappoint him.”

“Does it ever get louder?” Jongdae raised an eyebrow to the question. “The voices… The temptation.”

The prince shook his head, running his tongue over his lips for a brief moment. “Louder isn’t the word… They get,” he hesitated, closing his eyes,” meaner.”

“How so?”

“It hurts sometimes; My mind can say really hurtful things, make me feel so… weak and worthless as if the sun wouldn’t ever shine for me, as if everything I ever touch will rot away. I can take it most of the days, I have shoes to fill and it doesn’t matter if I find myself worthy of it — that is my destiny, my duty, I will be damned before having it taken away from me over my own toxic mind.”

 _It isn’t you,_ Minseok wanted to scream, to shake him and maybe call out to the shadows to come out and fight him and not that mortal. 

And yet he couldn’t. A story as long as time, he would dare say, calling out his play would bring on a climax that neither of them was ready to face; to break what never was built. But could he take it any longer? How long even? It had to be the shadows over him, feeding his greed for something he couldn’t truly have… He wanted to fight! To protect! To cherish…

 _Why?_ _How?_ Like a moth to a light, Minseok was being pulled deeper and deeper, following instincts he didn’t comprehend and having the moon and the star above as witnesses. What was a foolish mistake after another? Another drop in the already half-full cup of mistakes he had already made? It was natural, wasn’t it? To want to hold and protect the last snowflake of winter, the most perfect one for it was the last of its kind — so fragile and delicate.

“You are good, snowflake… So damn fucking good. Those voices aren’t yours, there isn’t a fibre of your being that knows something but kindness.”

“Nothing is white and black, Minseok. I’m not fully white nor are you as black as the people painted you to be… Life is grey and I’m fine with that, the blackness is there to tempt everyone just as the whiteness stays within reach at all the time. Every single one of us can make a choice and fight for the side they want,” Jongdae said with a frown as he leaned closer. “They can say I’m cursed to always be pulled by both, light and dark breaking me from within, but I say they are the ones cursed by blindness. Sometimes light is within the darkness just as dark can be found in the lightness — one good deed can cause misery and one bad deed can lead you to happiness. I own those voices, they are a part of me and I will fight them for as long as I have a reason to do so.”

There were flames in his eyes, moonlight meeting gold in a way that made them so much more intense. The pressed jaw, the frown eyebrows, the kitty curls disappearing in a thin line. Jongdae was serious about his words and Minseok had lost his own. Jongdae truly understood the rules of the universe. The balance and the greys few could see in a world divided by contrasts — Not everything can be labelled as good or bad, negative or positive, as most things hold both. 

Love, pain, duty… Such complex feelings could never carry only one side. Duty was positive enough to give meaning to someone but it was also the stone that kept them with their head barely over the water. Love was a beautiful thing but there was heartache and vulnerability in its shadow. Pain was a bitch and yet the wisest teacher. Nothing truly beautiful came without a grey sky, it only took open eyes to fully see it’s shades of black and white.

Taking his hand to caress Jongdae’s cheek, Minseok didn’t notice the moment he leaned in nor the moment Jongdae pressed his forehead against his. It was clear which one made the first move nor if either of them cared about it. Those tempting lips… Minseok wanted them on his. It didn’t matter if some annoying voice inside him told him to not do it — _He has a fiancé, for the love of yourself_ — for once he wanted to be greedy, to let the darkness take over and see what light came out of it. He wanted that light to be his.

Neither expected the sky to fill with colours seconds before the beginning of a tragedy. A sign from someone above, maybe, but just enough to make both of them pull back from their greed and back into reality.

_For even the moon was tired of standing witness to every tragedy._

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The price of trying to live by an impulse came as a continuous game of ‘Catch The Mouse’. 

And Jongdae was winning so far.

Avoiding Minseok was hard, at every corner he was always there, most of the time looking for Jongdae to help him with sometimes: ‘ _How do I use this?’ ‘Yixing said I had to do this, why?’ ‘For the love of me, just help me!’._ It was becoming painful to hide it when the God seemed so distressed by everything Yixing had been throwing at him after self-proclaiming himself his ‘mentor’. As far as he knew, Minseok was a Kim, and Yixing as a future Kim needed to re-educate him for their house honour. 

Basically, it sucked to be Minseok right now. 

But what could Jongdae do when his stomach got all funny every time he stayed alone with Minseok? Things were strange. And it was Baekhyun’s fault. _Look at him_ , he said, yeah he does know. He felt like he needed to bang his head against something just to get Minseok out of his mind for a freaking second. Their second trial was days away and in the last couple of days, Jongdae couldn’t even focus, his mind pulling back to that one night.

Was Minseok going to kiss him? Was _he_ going to kiss Minseok? Maybe he should have kissed him anyway. His lips were so plump and cute, they had to feel rather nice… _For the Gods, get a hold of yourself..._ Round and round it went just to come back to the same. Jongdae was pinning hard and honestly, he didn’t feel terrible about it! Once they came back from the festival, he shared the tea with Baekhyun in less than a minute and it was an understatement to say that he — again, _his fiancé_ — was thrilled about it. So it wasn’t cheating if he went with his impulses…

“Jongdae, I found your puppy lost again in the halls,” Baekhyun announced as he walked into Jongdae’s room.

“Did you help him?”

“Why would I spare my lovely prince from the pleasure of saving his guard dog?” He mocked, throwing himself into the bed.

“Because your fiancé is trying to avoid him?!”

“Only because you are stupid. I told you he would be good for you, just go kiss him and get some dick, you have my blessing! Go nuts!” Baekhyun raised his head, turning to Jongdae with an ‘I will not say anything good’ type of smile. “Actually go get those nuts.”

“Argh!” Jongdae rolled his eyes, rising from his sofa. “Can you get any more disgusting?”

“I could tell you to go mil—” “I’m out! You deserve to be cheated at this point!” Jongdae said cutting him before having another indecent image painted for him.

“Whatever helps you get the courage to go get some ass or give some ass, I won’t judge!” 

“Are you going to kiss me at our wedding with that mouth?”

Baekhyun nodded, gifting him with a cocky wink and a way too confident smile. “And then I will be yours for all of eternity!” 

“Forget Minseok, I may just go away and jump from the closest window,” Jongdae teased as he opened the door of his room to go look for his holiness, the God of Headaches. 

It took one step for Jongdae to question what the hell he was doing. Not in a ‘what is the plan’ type of way, but in a serious ‘what do you want out of this’. Running away could only go so far when Jongdae was the bridge between Minseok and the New Elves’ traditions. In some strange and twisted way, Jongdae couldn’t stop himself from thinking how unfair it was — in a way he could be taking advantage of his position, Minseok knew no one but him, and the God was lonely… _He is a God, don’t be stupid._

For Minseok’s heart, only he could speak, but what did Jongdae’s heart desire? _You know it_ , a voice whispered deep inside his mind. _I want him_ , truthfully and truly, he wanted Minseok. To kiss him, to hold him, to love him as no one before had done and if they did then Jongdae would do better because Minseok saw him for who he was and not for what he had in his name or because they carried the same blood. Every step that man had given in his direction was because he wanted to, no one and no status quo had forced Minseok to do it… and he still had run to him and no one else carried enough to try because ‘Jongdae had once again failed’ in their books.

Those cold arms caught him every time he didn’t have the strength to walk by himself. 

They were safe to fall into. 

Like the ‘snowflake’ Minseok insisted on calling him, Jongdae fell into Minseok's arms when he found him lost between corridors. Their hearts may decide to go separate ways one day, Minseok may pull him away, people may whisper, but for a few more brave moments, Jongdae wanted to live by impulse and everything inside of him told him that Minseok was the next right move. The one he couldn’t allow to get away and the one he should run away from at the same time. 

“What—” Minseok tried to ask, arms holding Jongdae close while his eyes tried to make sense of why the prince was literally throwing himself to him.

“That night, in the forest, were you going to kiss me?” 

“Well, for someone avoiding me you are very talkative today, aren’t you?” Minseok asked, arching an eyebrow. “Yes, I think I was. And, honestly, I don’t care about whatever tradition this is, jumping on me after avoiding me is just plain old rude.”

Jongdae laughed, hands holding the side of Minseok’s face as he pressed his lips softly over Minseok’s. 

At first, he didn’t expect a reaction, but Minseok decided to prove him wrong as he pressed Jongdae against the closest wall, hungry lips taking over a rather innocent kiss and turning it into a moment of pure need and desire. The growing heat inside him, the strength of the hands that pulled him closer by his hips — It was as raw as it was sweet, each one of them slowly turning into the other’s poison, only pulling back to go back in for another taste of something they shouldn’t want. 

A single kiss came as a butterfly’s wings. A snap of a flash of colour that split their life from what it should have been: Jongdae should have never kissed him, Minseok should have been aware, two halves shouldn’t have met in a single moment in time for light and dark don’t play their cards fairly. For love, as light as it was, had a twin — want/lust — that sometimes led couples to his brother, but carried a much darker energy and a higher price. On that fateful evening, every touch, every kiss, every whisper fed by want had left a trace, a mark in their hearts that nurtured roots neither knew they had inside of their souls and heart, for love was also darkness. 

On the days following that evening, Jongdae came to understand that as his mind was no longer his own and he hoped Minseok’s was also not his. He wanted to be his first and last thought just like Minseok was his. Baekhyun became his accomplice, hiding himself in his room while Jongdae escaped to meet Minseok under the pretext of meeting his fiancé for tea or a date. Where they met wasn’t important, between the tunnels and the quietest corner of the library, they found a space in time for each other, but a lot was starting to run in their minds as the day of the second trial came closer. 

“I know you love your people, but do you have to do it?” Minseok asked one day as they laid in the garden.

“No one can rule alone.”

“You said you wanted to help them, but do you need to rule to help them? Walking among them wouldn’t make it easier?”

Those wondering words didn’t get an answer at the time, but they stood in Jongdae’s mind. Was it even an option? After a life walking over rocks and breaking backwards to be allowed to walk the path given to him by birth, was it an option to turn back after fighting so much for something?

At the end, everything was an option. Jongdae knew that, but even if Minseok made him feel something unique, was it enough to change his life for it? Unfortunately, Jongdae didn’t have the answers to that nor the time to stop and think about it when every minute pushed him closer to the end of his path. 

Between stolen kisses, small touches and forgiven feelings, Minseok’s fears were left unsaid as Jongdae pushed aside his heart’s desires, too scared to find out what was beyond the chosen road. 

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Waking up next to Jongdae was nice. Minseok had grown rather attached to those brief moments in the morning when Jongdae was deep asleep in his chest. It was nice enough to forget for a moment the unstopping world around them. 

Time was kinder when he could only just lay watching Jongdae slowly rubbing his eyes with his fists before cuddling closer to his body. “Good Morning, snowflake.”

“Sh...Not morning, still sleep time,” Jongdae declared, pulling the sheets over his head or trying as if it wasn’t for Minseok holding them in place.

“You need to get up and I need to leave before the palace gets filled with nobles.”

“Oh, today is the second trial…”

Minseok nodded. “Yeah, today is the day.”

“Right,” Jongdae murmured to himself before leaning in to leave a kiss in Minseok’s lips. “I do need to get ready, but will you be there?”

 _Will you be with me?_ , he meant and Minseok understood. 

They talked about it. About the possibility of Minseok leaving for the day just to spare him the vision of what will be their future at every social event ever, because even with Baekhyun’s blessing, Minseok was still the other, the dark secret kept in the shadows for no one to see while Jongdae is paraded around by his fiancé and, in the future, husband. 

“I’m not sure if I can promise you that.”

Minseok knows better than anyone what a God overtaken by shadows could do. Seeing that after having Jongdae to himself for almost a week would probably take all his willpower to keep them under control for a couple of hours — a whole day would be impossible.

“Oh, I get it,” Jongdae nodded, sad eyes avoiding his lover’s.

“Yeah, I will still meet you here tonight and, if you want, we could spend a couple more hours here?” Minseok suggested with a small smile. “That brat can deal with them on his own and I’m a God, escaping won’t be that hard.”

“That sounds nice,” he smiled, laying once again his head on the other’s chest. “You know, I can’t help but think how nice it would have been if you were actually an elf, like me… If all this made-up story was real.”

“Hm, sounds boring. The story of how you found and awoke an extremely handsome God is much more fascinating,” Jongdae rolled his eyes, poking his ribs when Minseok dared to laugh. “I’m kidding, being mortal would have been nice if it led to meeting you.”

“It would probably be you in Baekhyun’s place had it been the case. Life would be much simpler.”

Would it? How long would Minseok get with Jongdae had he been an elf? A max of thirty summers probably for no one would be there to stop what was happening inside him. Dreaming of a different life was utopic and, given the chance, Minseok wouldn’t take it. Life had a way to fix itself in strange ways that were decided long before Minseok was born. If his mission in Jongdae’s life was to serve as a shield, he would take it every time no matter the outcome if it meant freeing Jongdae. 

Day after day, Minseok had been working on it. Between hours in the library and small trips to his brothers’ temples, there were a few theories that filled the narrative. As expected, most of his brothers were not in their temples, leaving Minseok to believe that they chose to put an end to their days as Gods. Part of him still hoped that they put their last energies to come back as mortals but that was something Minseok would never be capable of knowing without his memories. However, the spell around his mind came from a God, so at least one of his brothers or part of them had to be alive between the mortals. 

But the question remained: Why Jongdae and why hiding his memories?

Minseok tried his best to push those thoughts to another time and space for at the moment, Jongdae needed and deserved his full attention while they stole those few hours to themselves. Doing their best to leave a mark on each other, strong enough to stay for as long as they had to fit in their expected roles. 

No matter how many marks he made, how many kisses he left — when time came to leave the safety of Jongdae’s bed, Minseok didn’t want to. 

His day was full of ‘didn’t want to’. Between escaping conversations to hiding from nobles, only the forest gave him the peace he needed for the day, but the night had to come and Minseok knew he needed to at least show his face if he didn’t want Junmyeon to pop a vein. 

Just like there are moments that divided one’s path, there were also moments in which one comes to understand the price for it. For Minseok, walking into that ballroom was that moment. 

Jongdae was shining, dressed in his house’s silver and the Daked’s black that gave him a serious tone — an older aura almost —, a dramatic change from the traditional green that always had him looking softer when compared to the man dressed in gold and dark that always stood by his side. It was a slap in Minseok’s face, this would be the picture of a royal couple. One by the other. No space for another.

His heart wanted Jongdae, but more than anything, Minseok wanted him to live. To grow old and to be loved. What long could they do this for? Ten years? Five? One day Jongdae would wake up wanting something more than a lover and a husband — the country would want an heir and then what? Could Minseok stand to be called uncle while watching them raising a child as a couple? 

_We are a time bomb, aren’t we?_

Gods knew how much Minseok wished he had ignored it for a few more moments but Gods were crueller to their own kind. They gave him a taste of what it could be, a faction of heaven just to pull it from him when his heart was already starting to ache with the thought of leaving. He wasn’t one of them, Jongdae wasn’t his to keep and it was greedy to ask him to give it all up for… _something that could be love_. Like a double edge knife, neither would walk away unhurt, but Minseok could take most of the pain to himself, putting the end to his own feelings before Jongdae came to share them. Leaving before having his love, heart and soul, by breaking his own.

Maybe he didn’t have to do it. Maybe it was his own fears taking over. Maybe he was just blind by jealousy. There were a lot of maybes in their story, every single one of them just as uncertain as the last one. A risk too high for Minseok to take, when it was his snowflake at stake. 

_Jongdae had to live. Jongdae had to be loved. Jongdae had to be happy._

_His snowflake had to shine the brightest between all those mortals._

Minseok repeated those thoughts to himself time and time again while the people organized themselves to begin the opening of the traditional dance. One by one, people came and went as Minseok took his place between them, waiting for the one he wanted to have one last dance with. The only pair of golden eyes he wanted to meet for one last time. 

When ice met gold, Minseok held him much more gently than he had ever done before. Teary eyes telling the prince the tale he didn’t want to hear. Minseok could see it, the moment Jongdae understood the sadness in Minseok’s, the moment those golden eyes begged him to stay by his side. _I wanted to_ , Minseok tried to answer back. If only Jongdae knew how much he wanted to stay, but a flower needed the sun and Minseok’s shield was shadowing over his flower. 

_Oh, if Time was as kind to gift us one last moment and the Moon to hide away her light, for only in the darkness am I allowed to hold you._ Minseok prayed, to his brother and to Jongdae’s Gods, to past and present, for a simple grain of the sands of time. 

And for once, they heard him in their twisted way. As time stopped and the moon hid herself, Minseok was surrounded by unmoving bodies that included his lover’s. _Time never was kind,_ Minseok sighed, caressing Jongdae’s cheek before leaving a soft chaste kiss in his lips. “I will find the answers. I will protect you and you will live.”

As promises were made and time greeted them once again, tragedy echoed as figures danced to the melody of two beating hearts, spinning us around and around and out of each other’s reach. 

_A phantom touch that shall haunt me as you stay as a frozen picture at the end of my sweet dream. The sad story of you and me; of a ‘us’ that was never meant to be._

_I can only beg for the Gods to guide us to each other again in another life._


	7. Answer

When a heart breaks, it never breaks in a single moment. 

It took days for Jongdae to even understand that Minseok was truly gone and months to accept that he wasn’t coming back. If he had to pinpoint the moment his heart broke it would be the morning after the third trial. After failing it, he was left an empty shell — dimming eyes and a hopeless path for he no longer could tell the north from the south. In a way, the wind that took Minseok had taken his ambition. 

In the tragic silence of his bedroom, Jongdae understood what he needed and what he didn’t need. He wanted the chance to choose love over duty, to find the light that Minseok had taken with him when he disappeared from his sight on that fateful night. He didn’t want to live in the growing darkness inside of his chest; the anger that he couldn’t hold, the sadness of what was never said. 

Anyone in the castle could see it. 

The living corpse that walked among them. No hope, no light in his golden eyes, just a body filled with shadows only a broken heart could feed. 

They, his brothers and friends, all did their best, trying to fix the unfixable before hope left their chests and a single hand decided to take extreme measures. When the moon was high, a faceless man left the castle, purse heavy with gold and a wedding invitation to deliver to someone only the sun and the moon could hope to find.

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“Jongdae, please,” Baekhyun pleaded, hands over Jongdae’s knees as he kneeled at his fiancé’s side. “At least give me some reaction…”

He waited.

Waited….

And waited.

But nothing. Jongdae not even blinked at his words or touch. It is their wedding day and it looks like Baekhyun is marrying a doll that was about to break at any moment. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you to him when I knew your situation isn’t the best — No one wants to be the homewrecker in a relationship, but I really thought he would fight a little more… He better than anyone knows we aren’t a thing.”

“You are right,” Jongdae murmured, dead eyes turning to glare at Baekhyun. “It is your fault.”

Taken back, Baekhyun looked at Jongdae with wise eyes, hands retreating as he searched for an explanation. “Well, that is uncharacteristic but, I guess, you have the right to be mad.”

“But I’m not. I feel nothing, no love, no pain, no anger… Just void for everything I cherish ends up disappearing like a bad joke.”

“Jongdae…”

“Don’t. I shall see you at the altar and then in death.”

What?

Watching while Jongdae left him alone in his room, Baekhyun couldn’t help but to worry over those words. What had he meant with it? They didn’t sound like something Jongdae would say in his right mind, much less with such a tone. 

Little did he know that he wasn’t the only one witnessing that strange event as a figure stood in the shadows watching everything in silence until the young prince left the chambers. The conversation that he needed to have wasn’t with the prince, especially when it was the other that had brought him back.

“The balls you have…” The figure whispered, slowly stepping out of his hiding as cold daggers were thrown at Baekhyun with his eyes. “Playing me like a mouse, just to mock me by sending that invitation just to see him like that…”

“Minseok?” Baekhyun asked, turning to look at the figure. “I didn’t think he would find you, but someone had to try.

“It’s Xiumin for you,” the cold tone had Baekhyun arching an eyebrow. “Was it fun to play us? To leave him with nothing but darkness?”

“What do you mean?!” Baekhyun lifted himself, stepping through Minseok. “Are you insane? I didn’t do that to him, you did! You were the one leaving him without a fucking explanation or reason!”

“You better than anyone should know why I had to leave!”

Tired of his nonsense, Baekhyun interrupted him. “No, I don’t, and you don’t get to come back here and be angry! I don’t fucking know what is happening or what you think I did but you were the one walking away while we all tried to clean up the mess you left!”

“I left to spare his happiness! To find who the hell was messing with both of us!” Minseok screamed, stepping into Baekhyun’s space with angry eyes. “Imagine my surprise when I remembered you and finally understood who you are.”

“What? Is lovers being mutually stupid a thing now?”

“Your name, your energy, even your core is different but your face is still the same, Hyun or should I call you brother?” 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue. “Hyun? As in the Old God of Light?” He laughed. “No, seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Look, I do know you are a God, I was raised by the elders of my father’s castle. They were all about the God Xiumin and you aren’t that good at hiding it, but, luckily, I’m not a God or I would be kicking your ass for how you left Jongdae. So what is going on?”

Minseok was taken back with Baekhyun’s words. He was so sure that it was Baekhyun, it had to be. His face was his brother’s, but maybe he was wrong? Had Hyun decided to be reborn as a human? If so, who could it be?

“Hello? I’m waiting,” Baekhyun said impatiently.

Against his best judgement, Minseok decided to tell the truth to Baekhyun. Every bit of it, from the awakening to the last months spent on his own. He told him how with every mile he walked another memory came back, how Baekhyun shared a face with his brother, how the invitation had looked like the last bit of mockery from the one he had thought to be the culprit of everything. 

“See it from my side, I already thought you were guilty and the moment I step into the room all I see is two shadows, one yours and one Jongdae’s… Whoever did it already won cause I don’t have a clue nor the time to get more memories back!”

“So don’t,” Baekhyun shrugged. “If they want Jongdae’s purity, let them get it. Be the villain.”

“How will that help?”

“Listen, we know almost nothing from the last war but the priests in my land believe it came to be because one of the Gods fell into madness because of the darkness compressed inside of him. If that is the case, let them take what they need so they can get their sanity back.”

“Then what? Allow Jongdae to die? I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I think you know the answer better than I do.”

Maybe, but still. “What do you get out of it?”

Once again, Baekhyun shrugged. “I’m sure our future king will compensate me handsomely for breaking off the engagement. Maybe a title and some lands, being a crown’s protegé surely will allow me to marry within the court without needing my father’s approval.”

“Power and love then.”

“Exactly. That, of course, if you manage to save him. I’m not in a mood to become a widow just yet.”

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From the corner, Minseok watched as everyone filled the temple, groups dividing themselves by colours as they waited for the moment in which the grooms would walk in, hand in hand. Weddings had this thing about them — a heavy atmosphere as if something is about to go wrong, everyone wondering if it will go peaceful or if it will give them some new gossip. In this case, something ‘bad’ really was about to happen, but they weren’t going to be awake to see it. 

They had a plan and Minseok was about to follow it to the last comma. 

He waited patiently until the music started, silence installed between the people as everyone stopped to watch the couples walking to the altar. It was horrible to stay quiet as Minseok saw Jongdae appear in white robes but not a single sign of life inside of him. No energy or flame in his eyes. No morning glow nor the permanent kitty smile. In his eyes, Minseok could only find death and emptiness, was it too late to save his heart? 

It couldn’t be. 

It shouldn’t be. 

Yes, he had left, but never had he thought that leaving would be the last string that held Jongdae in the light. If it was too late, then Minseok would die with him, for he was the one pushing Jongdae off the cliff he had spent his life avoiding. Minseok almost wanted to laugh just thinking about it — some God had spent years, trying to make Jongdae fall just to have it done by the one God that wanted to protect him the most. What a joke.

Finally, when both couples stood side by side, Minseok snapped his fingers; snowflakes falling from the ceiling as people screamed, noticing the ice forming around their feet and rising along their bodies. It was a child’s play for the God of Death to push those living beings into a state in between, as sleeping flowers during winter. There was no need for a big moment or to prolong their state of fear more than it was necessary. They weren’t important and Minseok wasn’t there for them — He was there for the only man that stood unfrozen and in silence, palm open as small snowflakes fell into his hand just to melt with the heat.

“How tiring…” Jongdae said, looking at him as he turned to face him with an indifferent expression. “Didn’t you leave already? Why come back now?“

“I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit, you are more of a child than a God. I doubt you even know what you did wrong.”

“I left and broke you, for that, I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry for leaving, all I want is for you to live… You aren’t allowed to die. Not today, not tomorrow, not until you have lived long and well.”

“Living without a heart isn’t living…” Jongdae whispered, hand grabbing his robes around his heart. “You took mine when you left.”

“And I came back to protect it.”

Stepping closer, Minseok carefully placed his hands around Jongdae’s face before leaning in to kiss him. It wasn’t a kiss of love, it was the sharing of the winter’s breath, something Minseok would never wish to give to someone he adored. Pressing his eyes shut, he moved his hand to Jongdae’s waist, preparing himself to catch him as his powers started to work on the other’s body, slowly but steadily moving to find his heart and make it beat one last time before settling an ice barrier around it.

Normally it was only used to stop powerful poisons, stopping its way to the victim’s heart, but what was darkness if not another poison, slowly eating someone inside-out? 

Minseok hated every second of it. Feeling his last warm breath, the body falling limp in his arms, the fog dropping from his memories just as Jongdae’s heart beated one last time before staying as close from death as it was possible for a mortal. But what he hated the most was finally understanding that, once again, it was only his fault.

“Brother,” a voice called as Minseok kneaded with Jongdae’s body pressed against him.

“Lay. Why him?”

“How could it not have been? His blood he fed to the lake awoke long before I found a mortal vessel.”

“Did you kill his brother?” Minseok asked, not sure of what to expect from his brother’s madness.

“No, the boy was dead at birth, I combined our souls with the power your little one fed me. At the moment I’m more human than God.”

“But why? I don’t get it! We fought and all of us lost! What try again when no one was there to even fight back?” Minseok pulled Jongdae’s body closer to his chest, trying to warm the cold body in his arms.

“My insanity in the war came from long before, brother. Do you remember the day I begged you to bend your rules? To save one mortal that I loved? But you didn’t allow it — Gods don’t have the rights over the fallen stars' lives or deaths, we can not and will not ever interfere, you said — You didn’t even look at me when I told you I loved her because fallen stars already have another half waiting for them on earth. How fair was it when you had your own star waiting to be reborn? I saw her die, knowing I would probably never find her soul again…” Yixing told him, looking around at the frozen bodies around them. “Those feelings ate me alive for years until the madness took over and all of you used your vital energy to put me to sleep… But when he woke me up,” he gave a dry laughter, facing Minseok, “it was mockery. Being awoken by your star, waking up to find your soul signature wrapped around his mortal, actually see how a single cut led him to wake up winter because, of course, you would make sure no one could physically hurt your little star.”

“I didn’t know what consequences my actions would have!” Minseok argued, looking at his brother.

“It didn’t matter, I was angry and he was just there within reach. I spent years feeding off him, trying to punish him for what you had done… But, again, I’m more mortal than God, I came to care for him like a brother, to cherish the moments we had and to really love him in a way, but it was too late to pull back the shadow parasite I had put on him when he was just an infant. I was a full God when I did it, removing it with a half-mortal soul… was impossible.”

“I’m sorry for driving you mad and for being a hypocrite.”

“We are even, brother. I found happiness thanks to the soul I spared, he found his half and I’m happy to love him too,” Yixing admitted, a smile forming in his lips while he looked at the frozen man beside him. “But I’m afraid I can not help you fix yours. The sacrifice worked. I feel full as if he just gave me always the pure energy that he had in his body… To bring him back, you would need a sacrifice as great as a truly pure soul.”

“When he asked for a voice to sing, feet to dance and eyes to see... I create them just for him. I gave him his own kind and in the end, I even gave him a piece of him.”

“Xiumin…Are you sure?”

Minseok nodded, eyes falling to the figure in his arms. “There wasn’t ever a doubt when it came to him,” he took a moment to look around them, to see those familiar faces frozen. “My magic will be gone in a few minutes, be honest with him. Even if you wish to be human, tell him everything…”

Yixing didn’t reply, limiting himself to watch while Minseok lifted himself, carrying Jongdae in his arms. What Minseok wanted to do didn’t need an exact place, but something needed to end where they once started, to shine a light at the seed of all the darkness. It was only right to bring Jongdae back at the place his fate was decided for him, his Silver Garden.

There was no science nor rules to it. No ‘ you need to do this or that’. Just a sense of irony as Minseok laid his body on the lake’s water, the one that once had seemed perfect to discard Jongdae’s body, and now the one place that would witness the breaking of their fate. Minseok was ready to untie the knot of tragedy, to let the unknown be unknown while standing as one of Jongdae’s people, to allow new Gods to rule over him if that was the way to get Jongdae to live — his divinity for what was stolen, a part of a soul; would that be enough of a sacrifice? 

Carefully holding him up with a hand on his back, Minseok placed the other over his heart as he closed his eyes. He could feel it, the part of himself that was wrapped around his heart, the hair thread slowly unwrapping to dissolve itself and come back to his owner. It was wonderful to be truly complete for a few seconds, but Minseok didn’t have the time to stop and appreciate the feeling, too afraid to grow attached to it. Instead, he allowed his magical core to be set free, feeling it retracting and pushing itself off his body as if his chest was being torn off his own skin. 

It burned for moments. It was confusing in others. 

His head was spinning as every part of his body became heavier… fragile and tender. Was it what being mortal was like? Had it worked? 

There wasn’t much time for thoughts for his legs soon felt weak and both of their bodies were left to fall within the waters of the lake. Air left his lungs and eyes seeing only white as he fought against the unconscious that tried to take over.

Air… Jongdae… 

He couldn’t fall unconscious. He had to breathe, to pull Jongdae out and to see if it had worked. If his star would open his shining eyes once again to greet him. If he still loved Minseok or hated him, it didn’t matter as long as he could live with a heart strong enough to love and feel freely.

No matter how hard he tried, his body failed him, mind falling into emptiness as his body couldn’t fight anymore.

But then, there was light.

As quick as he had fallen in, Minseok was being pulled out and into the frozen grass, air filling his lungs while he coughed out the water within them. “Are you stupid?” a familiar voice asked. “Of all the places, you chose to do this in the water and somehow that didn’t seem an unnecessary risk?”

Minseok only laughed, turning his body to lay on his belly and look to his side to see Jongdae’s golden eyes. “I admit, I didn’t think it through.”

“Moron,” Jongdae rolled his eyes, pulling back his wet hair from his face. 

“How was it? Being in the limbo?” Minseok wondered.

“Cold, dark… not that bad actually,” Jongdade shrugged. “But you don’t get to try it, you heard me? I’m still very pissed off at you but you don’t get to die while I live…”

“As you wish, my star,” Minseok smiled. It would take time, but someone told him that Jongdae was more than willing to forgive and start it all over again with him. This time, from zero.

“No.”

His smile fell before asking, “No?”

“Snowflake. If you are calling me something it’s snowflake…”

“Geez, was it necessary to scare the living crap out of me?”

For the first time, Jongdae laughed, laying on his back at Minseok’s side while looking at the sky. “That was for leaving me like an asshole. So...” he stopped, thinking for a moment, “I’m breaking off the engagement.”

“It was expected.”

“I’m not taking the crown... You were right, I want to help my people from within. Yixing and Junmyeon actually get off on all that political bullshit, they will do great…” he turned to Minseok. “I may leave with Baekhyun, make him an ambassador and just go for a few months to learn how their people use magic — maybe reintroducing magic in our lives will be the right move... “

“Planning the end of an era, I see...”

“One could say that.”

Minseok nodded. “Sounds great. You may want your brother’s help since he is part God and all of that bullshit.”

“Excuse me, what?!”

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

With time, change came for everyone. 

Like a storm, that day left no stone unturned. The engagement broke and family’s fought over decisions that weren’t theirs to begin with. The Kim’s especially didn’t like losing their eldest son to the Zhang’s after already having an arrangement with the Soo’s, but solutions were always there for those with an open mind. Even within every broken relationship.

Of course, some were faster than others.

Minseok and Jongdae would take time to find the solution to their relationship while Jongdae easily found the space in his heart to forgive his brother. Maybe it was the knowledge that he was about to leave and put a heavy duty onto Yixing’s shoulder, but Minseok wasn’t exactly surprised. They loved each other in a way Minseok never had loved any of his brothers, including Lay. There was always forgiveness within Jongdae when it came to Yixing. 

It didn’t matter if Jongdae still didn’t have the heart to forgive him too. Minseok could and would wait for his little snowflake to come back to him after every trip and every journey, no matter how long it took. He too had a duty, to serve as the ears and eyes of the King’s in court and in the city while they tried to bring magic back, to nurture the earth itself back to what once had been — full of magical beings. 

They had time and they would find their time to be together again.

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

“Gods, you are so pitiful…”

“Well, if you helped it could be a lot easier!” Baekhyun barked back.

“You were the one asking for land and a title, deal with it now.”

“No one ever said anything about the paperwork! I can’t even sleep without hearing Junmyeon’s voice in my head!” Baekhyun whined, laying his upper body across his desk. “Who allowed that guy to be king?”

“Jongdae, you know, like the guy that gave you a sweet title and a big ass castle just so you can go wild in here? Remember him?”

“Oh… that guy, yeah, he is also a bitch,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Made Junmyeon a Zhang, said ‘Bye bitches’ and never showed his face again. Men really are worse than centaurs.”

Minseok leaned in, flicking Baekhyun’s nose. “Shut up, you know very well he came back just last week and you were with him most of his time away!”

“But he left you, didn’t he?”

“I left first,” Minseok shrugged, sitting at the corner of his desk. “And we already talked, he needed space to find his calling and himself after so many years never thinking about anything more than duty. I already waited an entire era, a few months or even years aren’t going to kill me.”

“Well, now you are human, so it might.” 

“Want to experience death, Byun?” Minseok asked, but before Baekhyun could try his patience once again, the door of Baekhyun’s study was opened by one of the maids. 

“Lord Byun, there is a guest from House Park waiting to see you in the greenhouse. They said it was about the letter the lord sent.”

“O-oh,” Baekhyun jumped out of his chair looking between the door and Minseok.

“I got it, it’s time to leave,” Minseok picked up his jacket as he lay a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Good luck, I would say for you to send me a letter if he says yes, but I’m sure all the kingdom will hear your screams.” 

Baekhyun whined, pushing his hand away. “Did you need to make a mockery of me? Have pity!”

“Never, Byun.”

**･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･***

“I heard from a very happy Yixing that the Park said yes…” he said, arms wrapping around Minseok’s shoulders.

“Not that surprising, Baekhyun was the only one thinking ‘no’ was an option,” Minseok rolled his eyes, resting his back on the steady chest behind him.

“It was fun to hear him whine about it,” Jongdae laughed.

“Baekhyun is the lucky one, got the title, the power and the man.”

Jongdae hummed, resting his chin over Minseok’s head. “You also got a title, Lord Kim and the power since you are the Kings’ favourite person at this point.”

“And yet, my man keeps playing hard to get.” 

“Poor you,” Jongdae rolled his eyes while Minseok closed his, feeling the vibration of Jongdae’s chest as he laughed. ”Taking it slow is that bad?”

Minseok shook his head. ”I’m kidding. I like it slow, no pressure to marry or do all that craziness you did with Baekhyun. Just us, doing us.”

“Well… that is quite literal, I would say, but I’m happy you see it like that,” Jongdae said, looking down at him with a smile.

“I’m just happy to have you… All of you, light, dark and all the gayness in between.”

“You mean, greyness?” Jongdae arched a brow and Minseok gave his best to hold his laughter, cuddling more into Jongdae’s arms and chest.

“Sure, that too.”


End file.
